On Forgiveness

From a blog I found on facebook:

"A good marriage is indeed the union of two good forgivers." --Ruth Bell Graham
 
"So what is forgiveness? Guinness argues that forgiveness is “not a virtue, a merit, or a heroic act…[but] simply treating others as God has treated us and passing on to others what we have received so much more generously than we could ever give.”

Can you really forgive without acknowledging what you’ve been forgiven? Can we really hope to offer grace to others without understanding the grace that we are offered through Jesus Christ? There is a humility and an ownership that comes from recognizing our own shortcomings. If you stop to think about it, you can see that God (the All-Loving, Holy, Creator of the universe) forgiving you is a bigger deal than you forgiving anyone anything. After all, you aren’t holy and you aren’t all-loving. And neither am I. Yet He forgives us. How then can we justify not forgiving others? I love the parable Jesus told about the man who was forgiven some astronomical debt, but proceeded to choke and then imprison a debtor of his own who owed him very little. We may be horrified by the hypocrisy, but we do the same thing. Because we have been forgiven an astronomical debt, and yet we harden our hearts and refuse to forgive. The parable should illuminate our own hypocrisy and point us to our responsibility, as followers of Christ, to forgive.

And it sounds limitless, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. May I be sober-minded and rely on Christ in me, to forgive any and every offense. Clearly, no one could do this in their own strength. It’s laughable. It’s utter nonsense. But as Paul wrote, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13 NIV 1984).

I want to wear a necktie for a plaid-themed party. How? Here's some images

I don't love any of them, but this is how a popular TV show (that I will never watch!) portrays the main characters at a prep school.

I love my house

God, my Personal Trainer: "Drop and give me 10!"

When we need healing, we often go to prayer seeking God's quick action as a physician and surgeon.

However, in my own faith experience, when I go to God in prayer about an area of my life that needs healing and wholeness, God acts much like a fitness trainer at the gym rather than a physician in treating the problem directly.

For example, when my knees hurt from running, a physical fitness instructor tells me to strengthen my quadriceps, hamstrings, ankles and calves. In turn, the strengthening of all of these other muscle groups allows my knees to more properly carry my weight distribution as intended.

When I go to God in prayer for certain issues, it is often true in my life that He speaks to me and grants insight and grace and discipline in other unrelated areas. Once all the other regions of my body are toned, then the broken, bloodied, and disordered bits seem to both heal and be more rightly ordered relative to the rest of my body systems.

When I turn my emotions to God in prayer, He often teaches me about discipline, order, faithfulness, and service in charity. After all of these other areas are strengthened and toned, it seems that somehow my emotional issues are healed.

Of course, healing and growing are cyclical processes, never ending. But it strikes me that the things I pray for often lead God to change me in seemingly unrelated ways I don't immediately equate with an answer to prayer. But like strengthening complementary muscles, the original issue is also treated with God's touch of grace.

Wedding Feast at Cana

"Do not fear Him (God). He is terrible in His greatness, awful in His sublimity, but infinitely merciful. He has made Himself like unto us from love and rejoices with us. He is changing the water into wine that the gladness of the guests may not be cut short. He is expecting new guests, He is calling new ones unceasingly for ever and ever...there they are bringing new wine. do you see they are bringing the vessels.

"Something glowed in Alyosha's heart, something filled it till it ached, tears of rapture rose from his soul... He stretched out his hands, uttered a cry and woke up."

- The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky

Divine Appointments

Thank the Lord Jesus Christ for divine appointments. Thank you, God. I am really thankful for the smallest, most mundane and seemingly insignificant meetings. But to my soul they are the world and the breath I need to press on as a pilgrim. You  know what I need in the tiniest measures. Thank you for reprieves and help me to appropriately understand and accept them.

I Was So Upset Last Night

Excerpted from an email with a friend about an event last night at a local "intellectual" coffee shop.

"Oh wow, that was one experience that I will never forget. Especially after I woke up this morning and saw the news about the Ambassador in Libya and the flag in Egypt. I will write more about the talk later once I can better process it. Ramadan was okay, although I didn't agree with a lot of what he said about economic openness being the best way to achieve peace rather than imposing democracy-which of course has its problems.

But the part that left me so heavy-hearted and infuriated were the "so called enlightened liberal intellectual" old people who were the opposite of open minded and just wanted to hear America-bashing. They were loud, boo-ed people they didn't agree with, heckled, and were otherwise emotional and irrational. I read this line about Politics and Prose, and I really really experienced it last night with the people there: (Politics and Prose is a)  "veritable temple of upper Northwest Washington culture." (I never want to identify with this culture, God help me!)

I wish I could have asked your question. The line was immediate and very long for questions, so I didn't stand a chance. I just went to find PB to cry on his shoulder. Okay, I didn't cry but I felt like it. (Some of) the audience would not even tolerate the intimation that there is PRESENT DAY oppression and problems with the revolutions that happened over the past years. That is what I mean when I say that they are so closed minded. I could almost picture them covering their ears and writhing on the ground, unable to listen to any claim of oppression or persecution in the "inspiring" Arab Awakening.

So it would have been wonderful to have you there, it would have helped my spirit immensely. I prayed a lot before I went, and hoped to see other loving and kind-spirited, thoughtful Muslims and Arabs. Instead, there were mostly America-hating old liberal people who wouldn't let a good question get in without their obfuscating and
being very very distracting.

Okay, you can probably detect my consternation. Enough venting. I hope you have a wonderful, beautiful and inspiring day. I am going to pray for Libya, Egypt, and America."


Peace!
Juliet

More on Intercession of Saints (Including our Friends and Neighbors)

Yet one more reason to ask others to pray for you (specifically those who are more spiritually mature than you).

Two days ago, I wrote about the Oswald Chamber's article about the importance of the righteousness of the soul making the petition. I also quoted the verse: the prayers of a righteous man availeth much or the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.

Here's another one for today from James chapter one:

5 jIf any of you lacks wisdom, klet him ask God, lwho gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But mlet him ask in faith, nwith no doubting, for the one who doubts is like oa wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 phe is a double-minded man, qunstable in all his ways.

You will see here the the most effective prayer is one asked "in faith, with no doubting..." and the person who doubts is a "double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

So I should ask for prayer from individuals who have faith and not doubt, who are not double minded, and believe that their petitions will receive their answer from God, whether yes or no.

I also must continue to draw near to God through Christ and purify my heart and walk in his light, and raise my own praise and petitions to God as He asks me to. I am definitely not advocating for giving up self-prayer in favor of asking others to pray. But in the event that I would like my prayers to reach and extend farther, I want those with the purest hearts and the greatest faith to pray for me.

Dazzling Witness

Because I am a contemplative person, I experience a lot of internal change. Sometimes I am unable to communicate that change to other people, who may not benefit from my spiritual growth without my communication of the experience. This leaves me feeling ineffective sometimes in sharing my faith and life with others, and being "useful" as a witness of God.

In today's Utmost for His Highest, Oswald writes, "If you keep your relationship right with God, then regardless of your circumstances or whoever you encounter each day, He will continue to pour rivers of living water through you. And it is actually by His mercy that He does not let you know it... God uses the reaction of your life to your circumstances to fulfill His purpose, as long as you continue to walk in the light as He is in the light."

This is extremely comforting and powerful. My witness is ALWAYS on, and it is God's mercy that I don't know it. Hopefully the darkened world is dazzled by the Grace of God in my life and growing thirstier and thirstier for him.

More Goals, and prayer requests

I added some more thoughts/goals/prayer requests. For one thing, I am still trying to "get" that at Confirmation I will be given tangible/literal/objective gifts of God's graces. So, I am wondering about all the little latent "inklings" I have of gifts....for art, for example. Will this seed and hint of gift sprout into something more overt and activated? Hmmm.....this is one thing I will pray for. Another, that I am specifically asking for, is that I will be able to stop biting my fingernails!!

I would love that. Whether or not this will be a manifestation of my "giftedness" at Confirmation, I will nevertheless add it to my "goal" list.

NOT MY NAILS, but similar

Goal: Let my fingernails grow and not bite them!!

My Goals, because, as I quoted before, "If you don't change, you die."

GOALS

Read through the Pulitzer Prize winning book list backwards from 2011 back to 1917.
Learn to hold a handstand for at least thirty seconds.
Volunteer somewhere on the weekends.
Get up at 5am to go to the gym, Mass, and study Scripture before work.

Asking for Intercession of those more Holy?

I have always struggled with the notion that some people’s prayers may be more effective than others. It makes me cringe inside to think that God is more willing to respond to some than to others. But there is the verse in James that says, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Or more commonly translated, “The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.” (James 5:16).  Some people will claim, “Who is more righteous than the saints in heaven?”

Some individuals I know ask for intercession from the Saints and Mary, because their prayers are pure and effective as they are righteous and alive in heaven with God. I still have a hard time believing that Mary asking something of God on my behalf is more effective than me just asking God myself, since I do have a direct line to the Father. However, I hold my opinions rather humbly these days, and have been open to hearing otherwise from God. 

This morning, I read My Utmost for His Highest, and realized that the spiritual state and quality of the individual praying does indeed matter in God’s response to the prayer. So this leads me to consider the fact that yes, of course the saints and Mary are more saintly and holy than I am because they are in heaven with God. And maybe it is true, then, that God would be more responsive to their prayers than mine, based on Oswald Chambers’ meditation for today. If this is true, then, it is a good reason to ask the intercession of the saints. Why don’t you read for yourself?

The Spiritual Search (My Utmost for His Highest)

 What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? —Matthew 7:9

The illustration of prayer that our Lord used here is one of a good child who is asking for something good. We talk about prayer as if God hears us regardless of what our relationship is to Him (see Matthew 5:45). Never say that it is not God’s will to give you what you ask. Don’t faint and give up, but find out the reason you have not received; increase the intensity of your search and examine the evidence. Is your relationship right with your spouse, your children, and your fellow students? Are you a “good child” in those relationships? Do you have to say to the Lord, “I have been irritable and cross, but I still want spiritual blessings”? You cannot receive and will have to do without them until you have the attitude of a “good child.”

We mistake defiance for devotion, arguing with God instead of surrendering. We refuse to look at the evidence that clearly indicates where we are wrong. Have I been asking God to give me money for something I want, while refusing to pay someone what I owe him? Have I been asking God for liberty while I am withholding it from someone who belongs to me? Have I refused to forgive someone, and have I been unkind to that person? Have I been living as God’s child among my relatives and friends? (see Matthew 7:12).

I am a child of God only by being born again, and as His child I am good only as I “walk in the light” (1 John 1:7). For most of us, prayer simply becomes some trivial religious expression, a matter of mystical and emotional fellowship with God. We are all good at producing spiritual fog that blinds our sight. But if we will search out and examine the evidence, we will see very clearly what is wrong— a friendship, an unpaid debt, or an improper attitude. There is no use praying unless we are living as children of God. Then Jesus says, regarding His children, “Everyone who asks receives . . .” (Matthew 7:8).

Cellular Regeneration

The pop science that I am familiar with tells us that every decade or so, the human body completes a cycle of cellular regeneration, meaning that the old cells die out and are replaced with new ones without our even knowing it. You get a whole new body, then, every so often.

If you are reading this, you should thank me right now for not posting an image of a snake shedding its skin, which it also does periodically. Instead, I will stick with a butterfly life cycle as the symbol of choice moving forward.

In the past few years, I have undergone a complete regeneration, shed completely all of my life, and have grown into a new one. The metaphors could continue:  I have metamorphosed, from a worm to a butterfly. However I think the process continues on as long as we live. Worm, cocoon, butterfly, death. Worm, cocoon, butterfly, death. Worm....continued in perpetuity until raised to new life in heaven. According to a quote from Downton Abbey, we cannot resist change. It's futile: "If we don't change we die."

I have lost a lot. God has gently asked me to give up a lot. Some has been taken from me. Some has been bloodied sacrifice. All of it was painful. But piece by piece it has all fallen away as new growth pushed out the old in preparation for the new. I do not see the future vision. I don't have the view. Only with perspective and time may I ever.

But at least I can be confident that God is calling me to growth and strength and pursuit of the Truth and Good that He has for me. I see how I am in transition into a whole new self, having let go of the old, and clinging to the new. I hope that my heart can catch up to what my mind knows is True. 

If you don't change, you die

"I was determined not to let it change me....It was absurd! If you don't change, you die."
- Matthew Crawley, Downton Abbey

Wall Art?

Strivings

Bitterness is a historian. Forgiveness is an ambassador. Mercy is a nurse. Grace is a philanthropist.

Physical Beauty

 "I believe Satan is aware of the great power we have through faith in Christ's glory. I believe that ancient enemy works to coerce us to prefer the visually stunning to faith. By design he has clouded eyes of faith with eye candy. Satan wants you to prefer your HDTV and retina display to things that nurture your faith. Satan hates when we behold the glory of Christ by faith. Unfortunately, his strategy seems to be working. Many today are more prone to enjoy the beauty of this world by sight than enjoy the glory of Christ by faith.

If you are hungry to see more of Christ's glory, here are a few suggestions. First, spend regular time in God's Word. Open the Scriptures on a mission to see the glory of Christ in His authoritative teaching, compassionate healing, powerful miracles, and humble sacrifice. Let the Old Testament show you the glory of Christ in the promises, prophecies, and predictions about who He would be and what He would accomplish. Let the rest of the New Testament show you the glory of Christ in His compassionate love for the world and glorious mission for His people.

Second, spend time alone with God in prayer, pleading with Him to increase your faith and show you more of His glory. Create regular space and time to think about and meditate on the glory of Christ. Prayerfully set your heart on God's Word, enjoy more of Christ's glory and be swept up in joy unspeakable.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. "

 - By Andrew Hess

Something to put into practice

Bible Study

I love studying the Bible. It is one of my favorite things to do. For the last ten years, I have more or less faithfully studies Scriptures, and I think that it has paid off mightily. I love this verse: "Physical training has some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for the present life and also for the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:8

I am almost done with another Beth Moore Bible study, which will be probably my 8th or 9th, with a few repeats here and there. Next, I want to start studying on my own. My friend Barbara is a great example for me. When she was in high school, she started writing Bible Studies for her sister. Now she is a bona fide scripture scholar, speaks Greek and Hebrew (!) and is getting her Master's degree from a renowned Bible college in Southern California.

This summer a friend and I are leading a Bible study for female interns on Capitol Hill. We decided to study the women in the Bible, and have so far studied Eve, Sarah, Deborah, Esther, and Ruth. The coolest part is that we decided not to follow a book but to come up with the study questions on our own, letting the Word of God speak for itself. I had never done this before, but it has worked really well.

I am also in a Bible study at my church where we are going through the book of Hebrews, chapter by chapter. It is really challenging, and we are studying the scripture and its text alone. It is really helpful.

I decided that as soon as I finish my current Bible study material, I am going to start studying Scripture topically, and my first subject will be "sin." I think it will be interesting to enter into that study for a few weeks and see what the whole of Scripture has to say about it. I pray that God moves my heart and washes me white as snow through the course of the reading.

Love It or Lose It

I am trying a new method of going through my clothes. Several years ago I decided to toss any item of clothing that I never or rarely wear, that had a prominent color or pattern that was not the most flattering, and that was ill fitting, unless I was willing to pay for alterations. That got rid of a lot of clothes.

Then there are some that still linger without my wearing them too often. Sometimes that is because they are "special" and cannot be worn casually. But there are others that sit on hangers week after month after year. I decided today to pick an item and either "wear it or toss it." If I cannot find a way to wear a particular item, it goes in the Good Will bin. If I decide after a day of wearing it that it is not something I love, then I will donate the garment to charity.

Either way, I must make a decision every day to "love it or lose it," or "wear it or lose it." If you see me wearing something that you don't think is particularly nice, please let me know, I really am trying to weed out things that aren't extra special.