I'm going CAMPING!!!

So it's not Yosemite, and not Pinecrest, and not Dinkey Creek...but it is Virginia, and a whole new world to me. Funny enough, my coworker's family owns a cabin in Long Barn (I remember staying in a red cottage/inn there years ago), and a guy from church has family in Dinkey Creek (go figure).

But next weekend, my wonderful friends and I are packing up for the night, and driving an hour away to the National Park in Prince Edward County, Virginia, to camp overnight in a cabin/tent.

I am just nervous about starting a fire, because Daddy always took care of that in the past!

Ellllmmmmmeeeeerrrrr...........
(Only the Guaglianone's and Cardoso's would get that.)

My teacher writes this about me:
"I have to admit that I am a little worried with regard to the comprehensive exam, although I am confident that you can pass it after more study."

This didn't help my nerves. Since I moved to DC, I have been extremely anxious and nervous about school. Although the Lord has helped me through a lot of the anxiety, I have never had a "good" feeling about my courses. Oftentimes I dread going to class, because it is intimidating, and I am able to comprehend such a surface proportion of the literature.
My main stressor of the year are the looming "comprehensive exams." I need to determine at which point to take them, and my professor strongly suggests that I do my schoolwork "full time" instead of half working, quarter studying. While this is a fair point, I cannot afford to "not work" nor would I wish to sit at a desk for 8 hours of my day.
I will be praying for opportunities to study full time, and to go back and revisit the arguments present in the vast literature in my field. I do not want to work at an incredible institution. I merely wish to work at a state university, influencing students, and pursuing foreign policy interests on the side.

I am really scared that I am spending so much energy, time, and MONEY on this education that I may not be able to complete. My teacher said I am "plenty smart" to get through it, but I don't feel so confident, especially because he doesn't know me outside of my mediocre work.

I am so scared. Lord walk me through this valley!

When Mr. Kent spent days and days discussing the shooting at Columbine when I was in 8th grade, I realized how despicable school shootings can be. In November, I was honored to meet a young man who was a senior at Columbine when the shooting happened. I live in Arlington, VA, less than an hour away from the site of the worst mass slaughter at a university in US history, Virginia Tech. This morning, I see my own precious Fresno State on national television, not for its stellar football team, but for its own campus shooting. It is unbelievable, and horrific, and sad, and scary.

Shadow Puppets

I am so sick of people without personalities, without spirit. I feel like I am surrounded by them. No individuality, no opinions, no convictions, no willingness to stand up for someone else, or to challenge someone on principle. Where are all the real live humans in Washington DC?

A SUPERNATURAL PLEA

I have been at work since 8:00 am. It is 5:30 pm. My stomach is in knots because tomorrow I have to be at work at 8:30am to take a final exam that could determine much of my future. I don't care so much about the final for the final's sake, or the grade in the course, but I do care about how it reflects my preparedness and dedication and ability to complete my chosen course of education. I know I have a long road ahead of me, and I often doubt that I can complete it. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has called me to this endeavor and this struggle, and I therefore should be able to rest assured in his pulling through for me. I know that of my own strength I am incapable to succeed in this. My brain has about hit its ceiling in terms of being able to juggle life, work, school, and the future at this point. I need the grace and peace of Christ to cover me like a veil and give me the mind of Jesus Christ, like He promises in His word. If anyone reads this (I doubt anyone will) before or during my test on Saturday, May 5th from 9am-6pm (YES; nine hours), please send me a little note of encouragement, and most importantly, send a prayer up to the Lord for my peace of mind. I love you all.