Teetering

I feel like I am teetering on the edge of something BIG. On this side of this week, I am still young and small and inexperienced and finding my footing in my life and work and job and school. When I hear that I pass my test (God willing) I will actually feel like the accomplished adult that I have been becoming for the last five or so years. But I feel like it hinges here. I have been wafting around, waiting and floating...but as of yet there has been no point of identification or acknowledgment of what I have done in any tangible sense.

But I have poured hundreds, literally hundreds of hours into studying IR, and I know it well. Now I hope I am able to show it on my exam Friday.

Principal Agent theory

Discuss the promises and pitfalls of the use of principal-agent theories in international relations. 

PA is dominant approach to the study of delegation. Draws from rational choice theories, arguing that instrumentally rational actors (voters, legislators, states) delegate power to executive and judicial agents systematically in order to lower transaction costs of policymaking and in doing so, they tailor the discretion of their agents, systematically, as a function of several factors including the demand for credible commitments, demand for policy relevant information, and the expected gap between the preferences of the principals and agents.

St. Peter's at 5pm last night

Last night I was feeling especially selfish. I had passed by Catholic churches no less than three times yesterday as I was moving about town, and each time had shook the thought of entering from my mind.

But as I got home last night and the familiar mind-flurry of "what do I need, what do I want, what would satisfy me right now" hit me full force, I decided to skip across the street for 5 o'clock Mass at St. Peters. It is a such a familiar, safe, peaceful feeling for me to walk into a Catholic church. I did so every week growing up, from birth through sixth grade. Then my family started to go to a protestant church, which I love as well.

It is amazing to me how, though I have not gone faithfully to a Catholic service since I was 12, and I am now 25, I remember most of the words and recited prayers and responses. It is so important to develop habits and expectations and practices with young children, as they are so impressionable and it WILL stick with them. I think that this is why the Bible promises that if you "Train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it." It's in his/her blood. If I ever have kids, I will definitely make faith part of the foundation of training I will provide them.

The sermon (Homily) was on two amazing passages from the Bible. The first was on the spiritual gifts of the Holy Spirit, such as words of wisdom, knowledge, faith, gifts of healing, miracles, prophecy, distinguishing of spirits, various kinds of tongues, interpretation of tongues (1 Corinthians 12).  I especially noticed the last verse in this reading, "But one and the same Holy Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills." I know there is much discussion about these gifts and a lot of observations, predictions, and pontifications, but it all comes down to the fact that God distributes to each one individually just as He wills. We cannot limit God only to do what we think He wills.

The second was on the wedding feast at Cana, where Jesus performed his first public miracle (John 2). Father Byrne pointed out that this passage is symbolic of Jesus's death and his free flowing sacrificial blood that overflows to cover all sins of all people. It also showcases Jesus's tenderness and love for marriage among this young couple, and not only marriage of a young couple but a POOR young couple, because a rich couple would never run out of wine. So Jesus, on top of displaying His might, also provided lavishly for a poor young couple to make their wedding celebration a grand affair.

The way that these two readings came together was  though the mechanism of Mary's direction to the servants: "Do whatever He tells you." We need to remind ourselves of this...."do whatever He tells you." What is that? What are your gifts (from the 1 Corinthians reading)? How are you using your gifts in the Church? Can you sing, read, argue, speak, run, make a great pie, etc. But even more than just using your gifts to glorify God in the church, we must do something much more profound.

It is our calling and challenge and privilege to bring the transformation of the Eucharist (Sacrament of Communion) from the altar to the world around us. We are not just sharing our wealth, our baked goods, or our talent, but we are literally taking Communion to the people around us. That is how we truly bring glory to God through our gifts.

I am challenged. And somehow, not sure how yet, but I intend to bring my transformational Communion experience into my exam this week. I'll let you know what that looks like when I figure it out, if I figure it out.

Decision Making and Prospect Theory

Thanks to prospect theory, economists have come to recognize that the assumption that individuals behave as rational actors maximizing utilities is not descriptively accurate. Do you believe that political scientists have adequately adjusted their own approaches given what we now know about human behavior?

Prospect theory runs counter to traditional economic rationality, in that according to an economic rational choice model, actors have fixed preferences that they are able to rank order. Therefore, given a decision situation, there is a clear order of what decision would give the best outcome, and there is no variance in this preference ranking.

Eavesdropping

Sometimes I cannot believe what I hear. I am studying next to an individual who is talking on the phone through a full mouth of muffin. The person on the other end must really love her and know her very well to understand what she's saying, because I certainly cannot.

Then, she makes the point that, "No, you have to get out of the shower with the phone. Even the steam will hurt the phone. Get out of the shower with that phone." And I don't think that the conversational partner was a child.

Just another incredulous conversation on a glorious study day in DC. I'm enjoying upper Georgetown very much! Cheers!

Non-state Actors

Through what mechanisms can non-state actors influence world politics?  Give at least two concrete examples.  Then discuss the theoretical implications of these modes of influence.  What implications do they have for IR theory? 

Nonstate actors have unique and powerful qualities that shape state behavior. This essay will address ways in which nonstate actors such as NGOs, International NGOs, epistemic communities, and transnational activist networks influence the international system.

Bows and Flows of Angel Hair, and Ice Cream Castles In the Air

This is what my dreams looked like last night. I don’t think that I have ever dreamed about food before in my life. I must have been hungry. In my dream, my sister made me brownies with caramel and marshmallow, and of course it was delicious. Maybe it’s because I had a cookie after dinner…one of my favorites, from Firehook. Its an “Presidential Cookie,” complete with everything you could want. Oatmeal, chocolate chips, walnuts, dried cherries…and lots and lots of butter. And as a plus, it gave me sweet dreams.

In truth, though a puzzling night of sleep, it was a welcome respite from the heavy burdens that have been weighing on me lately. Not just my test, but other big things that my beloved friends and family are going through. I have felt the weight of these things in a heightened proportion the last few days. Part of me thinks that it is an attempt of the enemy to disturb my peace. But I won’t be rattled! I am focused, focused, focused on my exam. God can take care of everything,  of that I am certain, so I am laying my burdens, anxieties and cares at his more-than-capable feet.

I just listened to a song this morning on my ipod that asked, “who planted the trees,” prodding me to think about the world in its original, pristine form after creation. God planted the first trees. How incredible! Were it not for the first act, we wouldn’t have any today. For many across the world, trees are their livelihood, their shade, and sustainers of their economy and life. Thank you, God, for your creativity. You are quite the artist. And everything you created is utterly original. There was no model or prototype. You created, you breathed, you spoke and world came together.

…and then I panic about some test….silly me.

Hopefully my dreams are full of candyland adventures this next week. It sure beats waking up and pondering, worrying, or criticizing myself and these hardships.

Miss Dior

Love this whole look. So classic. Maybe once I'm a professor......one day.

Rationalism v Constructivism

To what extent is trying to synthesize rationalism and constructivism fruitful? Illustrate your points with specific examples.

The debate between constructivism and rationalism is currently the main theoretical divide in international relations. While the two schools of thought have important differences, they are by no means mutually exclusive, and should be combined in various cross cutting ways to have the greatest and most productive effect in the practice of international relations. This essay will discuss each school of thought, then contrast the ways that each school conceptualizes central concepts such as preferences, agency, and norms in international relations. Next, this essay will discuss various methods in which the two schools can be integrated in IR theory, which is best illustrated by the work on norm entrepreneurship in IR.

Facebook

I have decided to put a link to my blog on facebook. I am not sure if it will stay or not. But I want to be transparent and real with everyone in my life. If anyone even looks at this (assuming anyone is interested enough in my life to look at this), and has questions about my life or faith, please let me know. I would love to talk about it. Part of my resolution for this year was to engage in more "costly" relationships. Not that a blog interaction is "costly" at all, but it has forced me to be more transparent, just by the chance that anyone would want to read this and hold me to what I say.

My blog represents a part of what I think about, what I care about, what I love, and how I want to lead with my faith in all aspects of my life and follow Jesus Christ to the end. So here's to the journey...I'm a pilgrim.

My biggest fear (the fear of man) is that people will see this blog and think, "oh, I can't believe she would put her whole personal and private life online for others to see." I used to think this too, but I realized that I just want to share my heart with the people I care about, and I want to know and care about and love every individual that comes into my life.

Confidence

I love Washington DC. It is a beautiful place. After my exam, I am going to start carrying my camera around with me wherever I go. Because my "work" is mobile, I like to walk all over the city and plant myself and study in novel situations all the time. You would think that I would meet a lot of people this way, but it's not true. Maybe I need to be less consumed with my studying and pay more attention to those around me.

I also think that beside living in my self-inclusive world of studying where I am dead to everything around me, I need to practice and work on being more confident and assured as I engage with others. I don't mean "self-confident" necessarily, although that certainly helps; rather, I am talking about a deep, soulful confidence that makes other people feel comfortable with themselves, and also affords me power and boldness and the ability to call things to order. This is a spiritual and Christian principle as well, as the Bible talks about walking in the authority of the Scripture and power of the Holy Spirit. After the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples at Pentecost, the Acts of the Apostles happened. Peter, Paul, Stephen-- all walked in bold confidence, not in themselves, but in their Lord.

This confidence comes from trust, and a belief that God will come through for them, and God is for them.

I long to have this confidence, to call things that are not as though they are, to speak prophetically, to minister deeply, to lead people to Jesus Christ and help them follow him afterwards, to bind the work of the enemy, to loose forgiveness on those around me, and to be beholden to nothing but the Gospel of Christ and Him Crucified.

Polarity

Is it useful for international politics theorists to think of the contemporary international system as ‘unipolar’? Why or why not?

It is not useful to think of the contemporary international system as unipolar. Although there is widespread agreement among IR scholars and policymakers that the United States is the sole superpower and has been since the end of the Cold War, it is not analytically useful to focus IR analysis on the polarity debate.

Institutions/Organizations

1. Why would states choose to work through international institutions? Do the incentives differ for strong versus weak states?

States choose to work through international institutions for several reasons.

Winter Wardrobe v Summer Wardrobe

I just discovered a major difference between clothing choice in California versus DC. When I lived in California, I had one wardrobe consisting of all types of clothes that I loved. During the summer, I would wear the clothes with only shorts, sandals, and tanks as the base layers. In the winter, I would wear the same clothes, but with a sweater, cardigan, pants, tights or other clothes to make it work.

In DC, however, you pretty much need a completely different wardrobe for winter. It is not enough just to throw on a jacket (or two, or three) on top. You must fundamentally dress differently. So the peasant blouse that was so gorgeous in the summer is just not practical for winter, no matter how you layer it up.

"You're Here"

If you don't know Sixpence None the Richer, you are sadly missing out. Such SOULFUL, beautiful and spirit-revving music. Here's one of my favorites.

"You're Here" by Leigh Nash

My life is up and it is down
I try to keep both feet on the ground
Your love is all that gets me through
All I need on this earth is you

And I can hear your voice reciting:
"I'm here, I'm closer than your breath
I've conquered even death
I am still here
And just like I was then
You can't remember when I was not here"

Jesus, you're the author of my heart
Told me you wanted every part
And now my life and its demands
Are resting safety in your hands

And I can hear your voice inviting:
"I'm here,
I'll never leave your side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am your God"

And I can hear your voice inviting:
"I'm here,
I'll never leave you side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am...I am...your God"

The Sartorialist

I love fashion and beauty magazines, advertisements, really anything with engaging photographs of beautiful things. I wanted to share with you a very popular, mainstream blog I really like to look at,

THE SARTORIALIST

Here's a brief bio of the editor of the blog:

I started The Sartorialist simply to share photos of people that I saw on the streets of New York that I thought looked great. When I worked in the fashion industry (15 years), I always felt that there was a disconnect between what I was selling in the showroom and what I was seeing real people (really cool people) wearing in real life...

I thought I could shoot people on the street the way designers looked at people, and get and give inspiration to lots of people in the process. My only strategy when I began The Sartorialist was to try and shoot style in a way that I knew most designers hunted for inspiration. Rarely do they look at the whole outfit as a yes or no but they try and look for the abstract concepts of color, proportion, pattern mixing or mixed genres. I’m always really happy when I meet a designer and hear that they use some of my photos for their inspiration boards. At the same time I’m also really touched when I get emails from everyday people who say they have been inspired to see themselves and others in a new and usually more accepting way.

Check it out. I was especially inspired today because it shows people all bundled up and warm for the winter weather. Sometimes it's hard to feel lovely and fashion-forward when you are bundled up like a snowman in layers of puffy clothing and dripping scarves and tissues out of your pockets. But take a look.

I love the variety of style-types, fabrics, bodies, colors, and flares. I always appreciate a person whose look says, "Hello, I'm interesting and know what I want. And I want to share it with you. Take a look!"

Globalization

  People have been arguing about the consequences of globalization for at least two decades now. Characterize the debate as you see it

There are three strands of analysis on globalization: what does globalization mean for the nation state, what is the status of state security in the face of a global, borderless world, and what are the normative implications of globalization for weaker states? This paper will discuss the definition of globalization and the extent to which it exists in the modern world, and then address each concern in turn.

Globalization involves the cross-border flow of goods, services, money, people, information and culture. A truly globalized international system must involve multicontinental distances, and networks of connections and multiple relationships, not single linkages. For example, subcontinental or bilateral trade agreements are not indicative of globalization, nor are regional blocs of integration and exchange such as the European Union (Keohane and Nye).

Going Public?

I am contemplating making this blog more public, by putting a link to it on my facebook page. I might remove a few (very few) of the postings that are just too personal for universal consumption. But I just think that there's some people that may benefit from a blog about faith, love, and trials of a very real life. I would love to know that I could reach more people with God's love just because they click on my page and read some of the entries. That's what I want my life to be about. This is a way for me to tell the message of my life. We all have something to give the world, and maybe this is what I have to give. What do you think? I am not decided yet.

Emmanuel

God is With Us (Casting Crowns Christmas CD)

The skies don't seem to be as dark as usual
The stars seem brighter then they've been before
Deep within I feel my soul a stirring
As though my hope has been restored
The shepherds say they've heard the voice of angels
Confirming rumors spread across the land
That a child protected well from Herod's anger
Is our Father's Son, and the son of man

Love is raining down on the world tonight
There's a presence here I can tell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel
He's the Savior we have been praying for
In our humble hearts He will dwell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel

I feel compelled to tell all who will listen
That peace on earth is not so out of reach
If we can find grace, mercy and forgiveness
He has come to save, He is all of these

You're the Savior we have been praying for
In our humble hearts You will dwell
You are in us, You are for us, You are with us, Emmanuel

Too much of me in my blog

After watching the new Julia Childs movie with my mom, I recognize that it is easy to allow a blog to become a vortex sucking one into self absorption. Since I already struggle with being a heavy egoist who is consistently self-absorbed, I want to find ways to veer from self focus in my posts. I don't know how, however. I guess maybe I will try to comment on other events, ideas, praise reports. Maybe I will share with you what I am learning and make this a teaching tool. I don't know.

The escape from self absorption eludes me. As a student, I am constantly attentive to myself and take care of myself and me alone. What can I do to transform this way of life?

I volunteered to help with the Children's ministry at church. I already help in the nursery, but kids that can talk, jump and form ideas are my favorite kind. Therefore, I want to help teach and work with the older kids.

Strangely enough, I am more terrified of sharing the Gospel and its truths with children than I am with intellectual adults. So funny and weird.

What I Wish Everyone Knew

I desperately want to convey the following to the people around me who look sad, depressed, worried, scared, angry, bitter, and otherwise malcontent:

God is in us
God is for us
God is with us
Emmanuel

This will be my mantra (excuse the extra-Christian spiritual implications of this word) that I wish to embed in my thinking and consciousness. I want Christ to renew my mind and transform my life with this reality deep down in my heart, mind, soul and body.

Can you think of ways for me to impart this reality to others in an evangelistic way? I guess I could say aloud in conversation, "God is with us and God is for us!" But how else can I tell other people about this hope for living?

The Democratic Peace

Question: "The spread of democracy will have a dramatic effect on states’ foreign policies and in turn on the character of international relations. Assess the main arguments behind this position and the evidence that supports and contradicts it."

Answer: Democratic peace theory is a main tenet of the foreign policies of many modern nations. Democratic states and institutions act on the belief that democracy promotion is the most effective, certain way to ensure stability in the world order. Rather than subduing and controlling another state through imperialism, if a state can implement a coup or otherwise force regime change, the world will be safer for all democracies.

Empirically, it has been demonstrated that democracies do not go to war with other democracies, although they do go to war with non-democracies. Scholars do not agree about the mechanism or logic of this relationship, and it is questionable as to whether democracy qua democracy is the relevant variable in this relationship. Rather than pursuing a blanket policy of democracy promotion, states must be careful to determine what comprises “democracy” and what type of war (outbreak of war, smaller scale violence, insurgency) they wish to avert. Espousing a policy of promoting democratic institutions without democratic socialization could be inadvertently leading to a system of stable illiberal democracies that look nothing like what today’s democratic states and idealists wish to propagate. Foreign policymakers must be careful in acting upon the simplified definitions and quick fixes to systemic conflict.

Communication/Signaling in IR

NOTE: I have switched to an outline format for my daily responses.

Question: Both rationalist and constructivist theorists emphasize the importance of communication in international politics, but they think about this relationship in very different ways. Assess the relative strengths and weaknesses of rationalist and constructivist theories of communication, with specific application to a major controversy in the field of international relations. Examples of such controversies might include the causes of war, the origins of inter-state cooperation, or the circumstances under which we may expect system change.

Answer: Rationalists and constructivists in IR conceptualize communication and signaling differently. Rationalists focus on the difficulties of signaling resolve and credible commitment between states as a mechanism leading to war. Constructivists focus on the mechanism of argumentative rationality and persuasion as ways in which actors construct and constitute identities, structure, and norms of appropriate behavior in the international system. I will describe and assess the strengths and weaknesses of each approach. Finally, I will apply these theories to the explanation of war in the international system.

Juliet v Winter

I know that this is ridiculous to the extreme, and very narcissistic of me to assume, but I honestly feel like Starbucks as a company is intent on freezing me out of their stores. They see me coming, know that I intend to spend several hours at their tables and get a free refill with my registered card after consuming my first beverage of choice, and as soon as I sit down, they crank up the darn air conditioner. It really bothers me that I cannot find a warm spot to study in all of Washington. My house is warm, but that is out of the question as a study location. Last night I worked from home until almost 10:00 pm to upload my promised homework onto this blog, and I had a hard time sleeping because my mind was still reeling from thinking and writing.

There is literally nowhere to go where it is warm and comfortable to sit for a time and read, think, or write. I am simply unable to coexist peacefully with the winter weather. The wind is horrific, and the cold is just penetrating and shocking to the extreme.

At least it's sunny and gorgeous outside. I love this city, I just don't like the cold. It hurts, sucks the life and joy out of me, and leaves my sensitive skin red, dry, and flaky. So awful!

Dublin

I have an opportunity to go to Dublin about six weeks from now, from February 11th through February 16th. My good friend is going, and I would love to experience Dublin for the second time with her! But before I book a flight, I am waiting on two important dates: my parents will be here for a conference in February or March, and the date is yet to be determined (so frustrating). I also have to take the foreign language tool exam for my program at school, and they have not posted the single date either. Once I find out, I am booking my flight. I told my friend, my parents and God (not that I TOLD God, but rather set out the proverbial fleece), that if I can secure a ticket with a base roundtrip price in the $300's, I will go. I know taxes, fees will raise it into the $400's but that's why I have been working hard and TAing and RAing last semester.

Have any of you been to Dublin? Any suggestions?

Anarchy in International Relations

Is anarchy a useful assumption for IR theory in the 21^st century? Why or why not? Provide  clear definition of anarchy.

Anarchy is no longer a useful concept or starting point for IR theory. In fact, anarchy never was a practical starting point for theorists of IR or any other practical social science. Throughout history there has been a community or a semblance of structure among the system of states and polities that ordered and constrained state behavior. Therefore the definition of anarchy as a system absent authority and hierarchy is not relevant for IR theory, and its persistence in the discipline has led to pessimism and a negative self fulfilling prophecy.

In this essay, I will provide evidence that anarchy is not, nor has it ever been, characteristic of the international system. I will then address why the modern era is continually moving away from any resemblance to anarchy. Next, I will introduce important international phenomena that has been overlooked by theorists who focus myopically on the effects of anarchy, and show that this phenomena is becoming ever more powerful. Last, I will show that even if anarchy did characterize the international system, it does not change the overriding importance of other variables in the international system, and therefore is not a useful primary explanation for any IR theory, even neorealism, because it does not in and of itself offer a mechanism for war or peace.

A tearful revelation

This Christmas, I learned a lesson from my grandmother. After a long, fun, exhausting week of snowboarding, catching up with family, and expending all my extra energy in straightening my hair and making my bed—rare occurrences for me—Christmas rolled around. It was an early morning, a glorious day, a time for family, unhealthy food, awesome gifts, and fun and games.

But inside I was a bit melancholy. I was longing for the day that my exam would be over, and feeling old and displaced in Bakersfield. My mom came around with the video camera, and asked me what I wished for in 2010. I teared up as I said, “I want to pass my test in January.” I was feeling so hopeless and….wrong.

Still in my sad reverie, my grandma, always somewhat abrasive and inappropriate looked over at me and said, “so, do you have a BF?” (Yes, she used the abbreviation). I said, “What’s a BF?” And she said, “A boyfriend.” When I said a measured “No,” she replied, “Well, why not?”

At any other time on any other day anywhere else, this wouldn’t have bothered me, except for to less-endear her to me. But I took it as a screaming, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?” which is telling, because it has been the hum that a particular serpent called Lucifer has been whispering into my ear about my education, my position in life, my financial status, my housing situation, my health, and now my relationship status.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was livid. I was furious at her insensitivity. At her obnoxiousness over the course of the visit. I cried hot, angry tears…and I am not an angry person. I walked into my parents room to stop convulsing with anger and sobs. I was really bothered and upset.

I had calmed down a few minutes later, but I did not want to walk back out to the living room. Soon, my grandmother came back to my parents’ room, her eyes misty and her chest heaving with sobs. She started crying and said, “Grandpa said you left the room crying. I am so sorry. I never wanted to upset you or make you sad. I never want to make you sad. Just tell me when something’s none of my business. Everyone has their own time. I am so sorry. I never want to make you cry.” She continued to repeat her regrets and her sorrow over making me sad.

At that point, I puddled into tears for this pure and simple reason: I have never in my entire life had anyone apologize to me with such sincerity. She was truly, genuinely, authentically, and completely remorseful over hurting my feelings. It wasn’t even her fault, really. No one has ever wronged me enough to warrant such a sincere apology. But this was a beautiful example at what that would look like.

I have never been sorry for anything in the way that grandma was sorry. Some people would express emotional, tearful apologies over huge issues, like betrayal or something like that. But even then, it’s usually only when one is sorry for being caught. Grandma’s apology and sorrow was certainly not sorrow over being caught, but merely sorrow that she had hurt my feelings. Isn’t that amazing? I will never forget it.

My mission, as I have chosen to accept it

In order to hold myself accountable, to ensure that I am studying in the way in which I need to be studying, and to give you all a look inside my account of international relations, I have decided the following:

Every day between tomorrow and January 22nd, the day of my exam, I am going to write and post, on this very blog, an answer to one of the past comprehensive exam questions.

That is a huge undertaking, but I am going to post my two-hour timed essay for you all to read.

Happy reading. I am scared out of my wits!

Test date

Friday, January 22, 2010 is the date of my comprehensive exam. Please, please, please keep me in you prayers. I need all the help I can get.

Mr. Marine

My little brother, Paul (19) called me yesterday to tell me that he was accepted at West Point! He still desires to attend the Naval Academy, but if he doesn't get in there, his plan is to go to West Point. All I know is that regardless of where he goes, I'm gonna visit as much as possible! New York or Annapolis, woo hoo!!

Ushering in the Decade

Friends, how are you? I would love to hear from you, about your holidays, your resolutions, your life-themes moving forward.

As for me, I decided that I am going to write out, by hand, all of Jesus’s words in the Bible, which are identified by their red lettering.

So far, I am in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. I will go through the entire New Testament. It is easy for me to lump the Bible all together and not pick specific aspects of it to focus on or distinguish. I know, by and large, what the Bible says about lots of things. I can very easily tell when something goes against the tone and tenor of Scripture. But knowing and being able to identify the Words of Jesus will help me to know Jesus better as well. About two years ago, I realized that I knew Jesus as Father and Jesus as Holy Spirit better than I knew Jesus as son, as man, and as the carpenter in Galilee. So I did a Bible study called “Jesus the One and Only” which helped a lot, and now this Red-Letter experience will only solidify that, I think.

So that is my New Years Resolution. I also want to floss everyday, but I missed yesterday. Oh well. I also want to become a better dancer. And now I need to start looking for another job for when mine ends next December. A friend encouraged me last night by saying that unemployment should fall below ten percent soon. Let’s hope so! But even then, that doesn’t bode well in all natural accounts. Good thing God isn’t bound by the natural!

Yesterday I had a great start to the New Year. I got off the plane at 6 a.m., after a seamless and perfectly smooth journey from Bakersfield to Dulles, VA. I have never had such easy travels as I experienced in all of my December journeys. My trips to Nashville, Sacramento, and Bakersfield all went just as expected. No delays, no problems at all.

I got home and talked my roommate and good friend into going on a walk with me. I mentioned that it would be nice to have people over for a New Years Day dinner party. We decided to go for it, and she decided to fix a traditional southern NY meal—black eyed peas and collard greens. We also made black beans and chicken chili with rice. We had corn bread, sweet potatoes, regular baked potatoes, spaghetti, and a few other things. I was so scared we would not have enough food, or that the crockpot dishes would not be ready in time (we only had a few hours to prepare). But it TOTALLY worked out! There were 17 people that I can count that were there, and they ate and ate and we had a little bit of everything left over! It was perfect. Thanks, God! And it tasted pretty good as well. And it was healthy.

I had to face one of my fears and hang-ups, which is, “if I can’t do something perfectly, I don’t want to do it, because that feels like failure.” So this prohibited me in the past from having parties…because I didn’t have the time and money to spend to have a fabulously perfect party. But last night, we made do, thanks to my VERY classy hostess roommates and friends, who make everything look and work out beautifully. It was one of the best dinner parties at our house. People were there from 6 until after 10 pm, just laughing and talking about faith and life and funny things. It was so great!

More to come, for sure, in 2010! And not only that, but if you read back to my entry on “How God helps me in the Kitchen,” I was able to use the 2lbs of ground beef, spaghetti and sauce that I had in the freezer for just such an occasion!

To those of you who came, THANKS! You blessed us. Come again soon.