Saturday, September 09, 2017

Before Bed Routine problems and solutions

I have been listening to a book on tape about Habits. I don't want to post the name of the book here or people may stumble upon my blog while looking up the popular title. It's not a great book, I don't even find it entertaining, but I cannot not finish it because I hate leaving a book unfinished. What a waste of time and energy, I know.

The outcome of this is that I have learned a few ideas from the author and his "case studies." One is that I am in the habit of going to bed when a certain cue occurs. My "cue" is getting really tired. This serves me well in a sense-- when you go to bed when you feel the urge to go to bed, you can often fall asleep quickly and sleep soundly. 

The problem is that this cue and response habit interferes with my new habit formation goals. I want to stay UP after the girls go to bed to pick up and clean the last dregs of the messy day. This usually involves dinner dishes and clean up, picking up the food left under the table and on the kitchen floor, and retidying the living room toys and books. The last part is simple, I could do it in 5 minutes, and I might, if I didn't also have the dining room and kitchen hanging over me. 

My evening routine is supposed to look like this, according to my new routine goals: 

Before Bed Routine:
  • Dishes after dinner
  • Girls' Bath/Brush teeth/Books/Bedtime
  • Shower for me
  • Set out clothes for tomorrow
  • Pampering- bath/moisturize/etc.
What happens, though, is usually:
  • Eat Dinner
  • Maybe bath
  • E. bed
  • Books w/ A
  • A bed
  • Juliet Bed after brushing my teeth but usually not even getting around to washing my face (Gasp! Beauty Rule #1!)
According to some principles I've considered from the new book, maybe I should make life a little easier for myself by doing the dishes right away after dinner, rather than lingering and putting E to bed first. She may be crying and tired and not wanting to be set down, but I just need to load everything in the dish washer and pick up bits of food from floors and counters before moving on to baths or anything else. A. is quite a good helper if I can convince her to use her small hand broom or put silverware in the dishwasher. 

I think I will put my new routine in action today. Here's the chain of events. If I don't have greasy dishes to deal with after both girls are in bed, it is easier for me to tidy the living room. After that short period of tidying I may be inspired enough to keep going through the rest of the routine. 

The routine is important to me because your habits are what you default to when things are out of whack. It's your auto-pilot. Don't you want to have a gold-standard auto-pilot? That means you don't have to work or push yourself once you are in the habit, it comes naturally!

I like to go to bed with a nice clean, moisturized face and minty teeth and clean feet and soft, clean pajamas. But it doesn't happen unless I stay up for more than 30 minutes after my kid activities are done. 

I will let you know in a week or so how things are going with the quick after dinner clean up before moving into another room.


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