Emotional Chastity in the beginning of Romantic Relationships

This morning I got the following email from a friend:

I'm writing an article on emotional chastity, and my focus is the beginning of romantic relationships.  On our first few dates, we women often dream about how our date must be Mr. Right and as a consequence of our premature emotional attachments, the relationship either spins out of control or our hearts become unnecessarily wounded.  I am seeking to describe this phenomenon.
I am collecting ideas of the good and the ugly.  The good habits we women have to protect our hearts at the beginning of relationships, and the bad things we do that allow us to get carried away. 
Would you mind sharing your observations? I will not use anyone's names, I am just looking for ideas!  I also will not presume that what you share describes your own habits; I'm merely looking for trends of the woman's heart.  To get your wheels turning, here are a few I have in mind:

The ugly:

• Facebook stalking
• marrying him in our heads before we're asked on a second date
• evaluating how our first name will sound with his last
• imagining how beautiful "our" children would be.

The good:

• Keeping busy with other things
• Calling him back or texting him back only (never initiating contact)

So I responded with the following. I like this idea, and I do see it happen all too often. I think that I am quite good about having good boundaries and not letting myself get overly emotionally attached. So these are some of my own personal reflections, having talked many friends through relational turmoil.

The Ugly:
-Thinking, “Is he the ONE?” which no doubt translates through our expressions and words and puts too much pressure on the relationship
- Getting overly excited and eager to do “girlfriendly” things like bake for him and invite him to things. Until things are established, the girl MUST refrain from extending any offers of any kind.
- Googling/facebook stalking him, talking to other people to “find out” about him, over-examining all of your conversations, examining all of his relationships with other girls that you know (or don’t know) that he spends time with.
- Reading his blog, or anything that would give you insight into him that he himself did not share with you.
-Considering how your life stories/future career interests may or may not align
- being impressed by his resume, network, job, education, etc. rather than letting yourself get to know his personality and character.

The Good:
- Letting him take every step and letting his behavior be your guide (ie if he opens up, you can open up).
- Continue to maintain openness to dating other men until he defines your relationship (this one got me into trouble  before, but I still maintain that it is the way of wisdom, to protect your own heart)
- Never assume anything. Assume platonic friendship unless he says, with his mouth, in English, to YOU that he is interested in dating you.
- Be equally friendly and gracious to everyone until he defines your relationship.
- Respond to his emails and text messages to the same degree of frequency, length and speed to which he contacts you.
- Do not allow yourself to spend more than three days a week with him until you are significantly involved and boyfriend and girlfriend. Too much attachment can grow.
- Spend time with other people, not just on one-on-one dates
- Be friendly and open, but do not share personal hopes/fears/dreams/desires until you are dating and there is a safe space to do so.
- Do not talk overly much about your future in terms of marriage/children. It’s okay to mention in passing, but not to elaborate on it, and especially never ever mention “our” future until you are formally engaged!!!!!
- Say at the beginning of a formal dating relationship (after you are boyfriend/girlfriend) that you do not use the word “love” lightly and that you do not want a man to tell you he loves you until he is ready to commit to you. Even if he feels it, he must not say so unless he is ready to propose.
- Don’t think about marriage. Just don’t go there. Of course you would never date someone you could not potentially marry, but why think about it when you should be enjoying dating/being boyfriend and girlfriend, and getting to know one another.
- Beware that while marriage is the formal uniting of two into one flesh, the conjoining of two-becoming-one starts with mutual affection and attraction. Guard this very carefully and realize that the longer you are on the path to “becoming one” the harder it will be to separate and break up if marriage is not the ending of the relationship.
- Even the most chaste physical intimacy like hugging and kissing leads to greater emotional intimacy so guard this very, very carefully. It is like emotional super-glue and when a relationship breaks up, one’s body goes through a withdrawal from the other person that makes losing them so much harder.
- Talk to your confidants about the relationship (not everyone, just your trusted, wise counsel). Listen to them with an open mind!!!!! Hear their criticism and take it to heart. You should not be with someone who cannot stand up to (in your mind) your caring friends’ challenge.

I am sure there are MANY more, but these are the few I have for now.