Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm Coming Back to the Heart of Worship


I want all of my efforts to be about You, Jesus. There are so many readings and programs and pursuits that focus on Christian virtues, but they build up the self as opposed to the spirit.  I want to be holy and I want to know you more. I don’t want to be charming, or successful, or the perfect wife and mother. Those would be blessed outgrowths of my soul’s garden, but I don’t want to pursue those things. I think of you, Lord, and I sigh and I fall into your arms. You say, “Seek first the Kingdom of heaven, and all shall be added.”

In Augustine’s City of God, I read that the supreme good is eternal life, and the supreme evil is eternal death. We achieve eternal life by faith in Jesus Christ and living for Him. All good things are from him, and all virtues are good only insofar as they serve the chief good of eternal life. My graces, gifts, and virtues are, in and of themselves, futile. They are full of worth only when we use them for the greater glory of God, when we employ them toward the chief and final good. Helping the poor, being charming and gracious and lovely, and bearing children and submitting to a husband are good insofar as we are pursuing God and pursuing the supreme good of eternal life. All else is vain and meaningless.

I feel surrounded by self-help and self-promotion programs, not just among the secular world of Capitol Hill but also among the Christian community. There is a premium on being a light on a hill—a bright, achieving, and virtuous, shining example of a ‘be the best you can be’ Christian.

Well, I want to be alight in my heart, not a light on a hill. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, consume me and fill me with your love and your praise. I live to worship you!

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