Hand Written Correspondence

 

I have been doing well on my New Year’s resolution number one: reading fiction. Today, I institute resolution number two: corresponding with my loved ones. I have been terribly remiss in not faithfully calling or writing those I love or even returning calls. It is not lack of care or love. It is both laziness and inconvenience—two things I will not consider valid obstacles any further. Laziness, because it takes a lot of time and effort; and inconvenience, because of the time difference (I am early to bed and early to rise) and the CA time difference poses a boundary (-3 hours), and the annoyances of the cell phone reception and awkward phone-shape situation.

Rather than email correspondence which is both less romantic and more immediately burdensome because of the pressure to send an instant response, I want to take up, or rather re-take up, letter writing. It will allow me to spend time getting to know my family beyond a simple five minute catch-up phone conversation. I can take my pad and paper anywhere, and there are plenty of meaningful cards to send to people. I do find that letter writing makes it sometimes difficult to ask questions, because they stand rhetorically unanswered…a lonely question-marked clause.

In some ways, letters are a strange mechanism for sharing and communion.  They are the ultimate in self-reflection, because they are all one-sided. Me, putting my life and my thoughts, upon you. And then you get the chance to talk back at me, uninterrupted. However, through the ages somehow sharing and interaction effectively result from the intimate pages. Anyway, I am resolved to keep up a letter campaign with several people: my grandparents, extended family, and friends. And the nice part is that letters come back answered and then you respond again. The timing seems to be an appropriate distance apart, and you are not obliged to respond until the letter is returned. It sets a natural pace.  

I hope to send one today, or at least have one written. I may even compel my little Sunday school students to write love notes to themselves from God today. I cannot wait to see how my relationships grow in this arrangement.

Charmingly Gift-Wrapped, Ancient Evil

When I was home for a few weeks over the winter break, my mom and I spent a lot of time window shopping in beautiful boutiques in Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Paso Robles, and Solvang. One of the objects that we saw and piqued our interest was a little, charmingly bound, small red book titled, “Fortune Telling Book of Birthdays.” The book had a description of a personality for individuals born on each day of the year. It struck both of us as amazingly accurate analysis of both the noble and less-stellar parts our our personalities on our respective birthdays. Neither of us purchased the book, but we both noted it.

A few days later, my mom mentioned that she wished she had purchased the book because it was so spot-on and she wanted to remember what it had said. So, I stored that away in my memory and went and purchased the book from my local Anthropologie in Georgetown, with the intent to send it to her. Before I sent it, however, I showed it to a few friends of mine to see what they thought about their own birthday fortunes. I found that many of them also thought it was pretty accurate, but nothing too out of the ordinary. I then took it into work intending to send it.

Before I did send, it, however, I tucked it into the desk in my office and forgot about it. That night, I was thinking about the “Fortune Telling” aspect of the book, which is really in title only, as the book only offers a personality description…nothing prophetic or beyond reason except its broad generalization. I justified the “spiritism” of its premise by the fact that, like with Chinese medicine, there are ancient civilizations that have been on the earth infinitely longer than our modern western, Christian era, and therefore they have a much larger scope of knowledge to draw from. Perhaps, then, there is nothing to “Fortune telling” rather than assessment of characteristics and data over millennia and millennia, where patterns could emerge that actually make sense. For example, maybe in the past thousands of years, there were enough millions of individuals born on my birthdate that had similar personality characteristics to me that generalizable patterns could be drawn about people who are born on 23 December. Therefore, I despiritualized the fortune telling aspect of the book in my mind and went soundly to sleep….

…ONLY to be awoken rudely in the middle of the night with a horrid nightmare. It was evil and scary and terrible. I shook my head and tried to settle back to rest, when an image of a nefarious snake entered my mind. I knew it symbolized evil and Godless spirituality. I just knew deeply in my core that it was a warning of the dark spiritism of that aspect of life. And I needed to get rid of the book. No, I cannot send it to my mom. I cannot return it to Anthropologie for another person to buy. I must get rid of it. Throw it in the dumpster where no one can rescue it.

It’s not the book itself that is evil, but what lies behind it. I was so ready to accept the “fun” and “Gimmick” of the novel book. But evil and sin is not, not ever, novel. It is the oldest trick in the world. Thank you Lord for showing me this.

Intimacy with Christ

Psalm 63

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

1 You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God will glory in him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Jane Austen and Chocolate

• Who: You, and your friends of a female, stylish, literary, and fun variety
• What: Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility (movie) and Chocolate
• When: Saturday, January 22 from 7-10pm. The movie will start promptly at 8pm.
• Where: Juliet’s house on Capitol Hill
• Why: Jane Austen and Dessert are brilliant and only other women can adequately appreciate them with you.

I will be making a few chocolate desserts, but your sugar contribution is welcome if you feel like baking for an appreciative crowd.

Hostess Juliet

Jules Grun, "The Dinner Party"

I am continually trying to generate and stir up within myself (or rather pray for God to set and light the embers within myself) regarding hospitality and generosity. Last night at church, in talking to the pastor's daughter and mother, I discovered that it might be a bit troublesome for his 9-months pregnant wife to get the home ready for a dinner party on Friday night for newcomers to the church. They are renovating the house in preparation for the new baby, painting and making the basement inhabitable.

I knew right away that I ought to, and wanted to, volunteer my home for the occasion. But it took a lot of convincing for me to offer, and I am very glad that I did. But now I have to prepare. While I have had friends over, parties of large quantities of people, little girls' tea parties, and small groups over for dinner and festivities, never have I yet had a true, mature, adult, responsible dinner party. I mean....the pastors of my church and the new people! At least I don't have to cook much. I will probably do something, and provide drinks, ice cream, salad, pizza, etc. But I am at once scared and excited! Help me, Lord! At least I have friends that can help me, I am sure. 

Sonnets For Your Consideration

Dear, sweet Central California

Cowgirl-me

Maple-hued leather boots, soft, broken, scuffed

Hugs my arch with familiar, welcomed ease

Sends senses home to dusty, warm, and roughed

Yet beauteous and bountiful valleys.

The San Joaquin Valley is my mother;

She beckons through her fruitful, sun-kissed hearth

Bids me: “Tend, care, and cherish no other;

Heed sweet nurture in your here-cradled birth.”

Dear boots have travelled far with me from home.

Now my mark of styled art and flair, though

Shine with goodly ethos where I was grown

Dust of Valley fills my City’s hollow

Cowgirl in me, never stop your nudging;

City-girl-me needs meek, humble judging. 

At Harvard Square Starbucks where I wrote this Sonnet; Mommy was sitting behind me

A Sonnet from Cambridge

Show me inklings, Father, of what will come

As I sit amidst great minds at Harvard.

My worth, far more than name and status’ sum,

Stepping, reaching up, You draw me heav’n-ward.

Your plans for me are wise, faithful and true.

I trust, abide in You implicitly.

Regardless where I end, what I accrue,

You’re my harbor of true felicity.

Your ways are greater, thoughts are higher still

Than imagination could dream to pray.

Your Will pre-purposed shall my hands fulfill,

And mind speak forth what burden you convey

Spirit, I faint answer your commission

Come, breathe life through holy intercession!

-- (Based on Jeremiah 29:11, John 15:4, Isaiah 55:9, Ephesians 2:10, Romans 8:27)

Post-Thanksgiving Thankfulness

It’s Sunday morning, and I flew back from California Friday night. As soon as I walked in the door, my friend from church came to pick me up for a Thanksgiving Part II celebration, which was a time dedicated to the “thankfulness” part of the holiday. We sat around the living room and silently recalled what we have to thank God for, and then prayed aloud, thanking God for those provisions of a physical, object, or emotional nature. It was precious, and the prayers were deep and true and real. So many gifts, so many personalities, so many personal relationships with God were present in that place. Lovely.

In the beginning when we were silently musing, someone opened the front door and stepped in, and quickly said, “Oh, wrong house.” He must have thought we were CRAZY—all 10 of us sitting silently in a circle in a candlelit living room. Ha. Oh well, I choose to think and hope that maybe he saw angels in our midst, or at least a glow of holiness and love as God’s saints, his sons and daughters, called upon His name in thanks and prayer.

A Bright Star

Last night I watched the movie “Bright Star” in its entirety. I had sort-of watched it before but never from start to finish. It is a truly immensely romantic movie, in all of its subtleties. It centers on the friendship and love of John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Keats is mild and diffident in person, but the small intimacies and romantic fancies that he and Fanny share are so alive and endearing. I especially love how she shows her care for him, by sewing a pillow-slip for Keats’ brothers funeral encasement, and for bringing him “perfect” cookies in a “perfect” casing while young Keats is still ailing. She mends his threadbare jackets. He says at one point in the film,

Write me ever so few lines and tell me you will never forever be less kind to me than yesterday. You dazzled me.

I think that this movie speaks to me in large part because my primary love language is acts of service, and that element of their relationship was so strong, at least on Fanny’s part. That is how she showed her care and concern. It was a wonderful movie; and the latest in my literary life immersion which I have delved into lately.

It started by reading Frankenstein, then finishing Til We Have Faces, and Wuthering Heights. I am now reading Jane Eyre again. Then I need to finish The Idiot and The Picture of Dorian Gray. I am also going to read The Christmas Carol with a friend, an second annual tradition. I find, however, that whenever I re-read a favorite book, it all floods back to me and I remember the detail that I had thought I forgot. I also tend to enjoy the book less the second time. I guess it is because I am more circumspect about it- at least that was the case with Wuthering Heights.

I have also been writing a sonnet-a-day, or trying to get to that prolific level. The problem is that I don’t know how to improve something as subjective as poetry. I need advice on that end, so if you have any, or any articles to point me to, please do so! I will post one sonnet here for your investigation and analysis. And perhaps more in the future as seems appropriate to post.

Most worthwhile past time

Growing up I read voraciously. I read every book at the house and always wanted more. I loved getting a new book that I had carefully selected. I loved "sustained silent reading" in public schools-- it was actually called by that whole title. I was so into my books that I would laugh out loud and then be embarrassed because everyone looked at me. I read and was so pleased to finish each and every book. But I didn't read many classics. It was mostly Christian fiction, historical fiction, and award winning books for school.

My mind, imagination, and power of argument and writing jumped immeasurably during that period. I think that I can credit that activity with my love for learning and ideas. Of course, God has all credit for any good thing in me, but I do think that reading has greatly led to my strength of mind.

So headed into 2011, I have decided that my resolution will be to read only classic literature and fiction. No more "how to" type books or books "about" Christianity and God. Instead, I will read the Bible text itself or a really study-focused Bible Study for my small group. And plenty of fiction, which is where the mind really takes off and applies the situations and ironies and hypocrisies and lessons to life and relationships.

To this end, I downloaded--for free!-- Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights, The Portrait of a Lady, Anna Karenina, and The Idiot. I already finished Frankenstein, which had some amazing things to say about friendship and responsibility and nobility of character and sacrifice. I will post some quotes from it soon.

I am working on Les Miserables STILL and need to finish that next. Please ask me about it. I need to finish. It is great, but I am at a standstill. That shall occupy me this weekend, I think.

Looking forward to updating you all soon. Please let me know any recommendations you have for good fiction that edifies the mind and soul.

Back online

It must be a fall thing with me; the temperature starts going down and I start feeling a tiny bit melancholy and homesick. I retreat just a little bit, start looking at warm, fuzzy things to insulate my body during the winter months, and my palate starts wanting warmer, spicier food. So the late summer salads are making their way to more substantial options. I always get the urge to indulge my inner Martha Stewart, or someone similar but less austere as that great lady.

So to start things off, I invested a pittance in four ramekins from Marshalls. A small (3.99 for 4) investment, but with endless possibilities for appetizers, individualized breakfasts, or mostly desserts. I also looked at the miniature dutch ovens or casserole dishes, just to get a taste for them, but decided to move slowly. So I walked away with ramekins and an eagerness to make baked eggs on a layer of spinach and tomato for brunch the next day. The baked eggs were good, very interesting. I skipped the important parts that makes that dish decadent and very French: the cream and real butter that are poured liberally over the dish as it cooks. I am sure it would have been better with that extra fat, but the soft egg yolk adds the perfect amount of creaminess and lipid for me.

I was also shocked to see, in my recipe searches on Williams-Sonoma and Epicurious, that you can make your own yogurt. I was so excited. I have been an all to frequent visitor (and subsequently wealth squanderer) at Sweetgreen, the new "healthy" frozen yogurt and salad establishment less than a block away from me on Pennsylvania Ave (between 2nd and 3rd St Southeast). I just love the tangy, bare sweetness of the plain, frozen and greek yogurt varieties that have been popularized recently. So I have been stocking up on Greek yogurt, both the Fage and the Trader Joe's variety, recently to combat that urge to go buy it at the restaurant down the street. Still, even at the grocery store, it is a bit expensive and indulgent for me.

So I was excited to make my own, both for the financial savings, and the not-insignificant pleasure I get from making my own food, conducting "scientific" experiments, and manipulating ingredients and playing with the nutrient content of my food. (I think if ever I have the chance, I would love to study Molecular Gastronomy).

So I bought 1/2 gallon non-fat milk, Pectin, and a starter yogurt with live bacteria (I chose an all-natural version that boasts a variety of live/active cultures). I didn't have a thermometer, but I followed an online guideline that gave great time measurements for the different steps. I DID have to set my alarm to wake up two different times at night, but by this morning, I had made 1/2 gallon of plain, nonfat, delicious yogurt! So now I don't have to pay the prices or make the trek to the grocery store as often. That, especially, in the winter months coming up, is priceless.

Anyway, more adventures to come. Soon I will be rolling out my account of my Amy Grant history which was fulfilled in my attending her concert last Saturday. I actually have more to say about that than I thought I would. Talk to you soon.

Love,
Juliet

My Day of All Days...so far

Today is a significant day. And already three things have gone wrong.

First, after taking the time to put hot rollers in my hair to give me the perfect, big, bouncy, spring-y curls, I glanced out the window before I walked outside and noticed big drops of rain pouring down. Heavily. So I decided to go into work late, since I don’t have an umbrella and I really didn’t want to mess up my hair today. Not today. Not TODAY!

Second, as I walked into the Library of Congress security line, I put my purse and my coffee down to walk through the metal detector. I had my staff ID badge out so that when I beeped—and I always beep because of my shoes or my jewelry or all of the above—they would just wave me aside and wand me down in the simplest fashion. But, not today.

The police officer said, “Ma’am, your staff ID lets you get through without taking your shoes off, but you’ve got to take that necklace off. Sheesh…that’s bad; usually it’s a small necklace and then it’s okay, but that—THAT —is an egregious necklace. That’s bad…you have to take that off, there’s too much metal…that’s egregious.”

Wow, thanks, Mister. I get what you are saying, but my necklace is awesome and gorgeous and I love it. I will take it off and put it on the conveyer belt to go through the machine, but come on. It’s not a “bad, egregious” necklace. Whatever.

Third, my coworker and I made it 35 minutes late to an hour long Republican “Theme Team” meeting I had been anticipating all week. Once we got there, the event was strangely nowhere to be found. The good thing is that I didn’t miss it entirely. The bad thing is that it’s not today…its tomorrow.

So far, that’s my morning. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about this evening. I am too excited to even write about it. And no, it’s not a date or anything like that.

New Book List

As I finish up my old list, I wanted to update you on the new list. See if you notice any changes in themes. More to come on that later.

The Unselfishness of God and How I Discovered It: Hannah Whitall Smith (1832-1911)
 Journey Against One Current: The Spiritual Autobiography of a Chinese Christian: Zhi-Dao "Julia" Duan
Girl Meets God: On the Path to a Spiritual Life: Lauren Winner
Robinson Crusoe: Daniel Defoe
Pipe Dreams: A Surfer's Journey: Kelly Slater

Good reminders

I am a person for God's own possession (1 Peter 2:9)
I am God's child, and I call Him Abba (Daddy) (Romans 8:15)
I am redeemed through Christ and have forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7)
God loves me, and I am precious in His sight (Isaiah 43:4)
I am lifted and carried by God through all trials (Isaiah 63:9)

WOW!

"Surface feelings can be changed, heightened, or numbed by our surroundings and by the things we watch, read, or talk about. When we rely on our feelings of dissatisfaction to determine how we will act or think, we toss God's Word and His power aside.

"As you continue to study the Word, ask God to reveal all that's mentioned there about His loving, tender feelings toward you and then rely on those feelings."

What personality type are you?

ENTJ - "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 1.8% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Is the Human Soul Infinite?

I just read this about being open, transparent, "naked" according to this author, and it was very challenging to me.

Being intimate in relationship is peeling back the layers, conversation after conversation, experience after experience, year after year. It's rooted in a belief that the soul has infinite depth and you'll never get to the bottom of it.

Our understanding of what it means to be open reflects what we believe about the human soul. Is it infinite? Or can you get to the end of a person? (Sex God: Rob Bell)

It is challenging because I know exactly what it is like to say to myself, "Okay; Stop. You know enough about the details of the other person. Now just coexist and relate within those bounds." Obviously, you cannot continue to grow in relationship and understanding with more than a few close friends and family members. But I think that I dismiss people at this point of surface understanding. And for the most part I am okay with that...it's natural and healthy. But there's a part of me that thinks that those people end there...that there is no more to know or discover.

I also have to question myself: do I think that there is an end of a person? I definitely act that way, about myself and others. But I think the answer to the question is NO. I don't think you can ever get to the essence of a person. I need to act that way, and to discover that about myself as well.

God's Workmanship

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which He prepared in advance for us to do.

I always focused on the latter part....that we are foreordained to do certain good works. But what has captured me the last few days is that we are God's workmanship.

What significance! We are God's workmanship. He is creating, recreating, shaping, molding, tutoring, guiding, and crafting us moment by moment. Nothing happens to us outside of His strong, controlled, creative hands. He's got the steadiest hand of any surgeon or sculptor. In the end, the masterpiece of our lives will far outshine the craftsmanship of the Sistine Chapel.

Hobbies, Laughter, and Fun

My life is a bit chaotic sometimes. It is divided into segments: work, school, church, socializing. And for the most part, I keep them all separate, because I like to have different spheres in my life, a separate entrance and exit for each.

But now I really want to find out more of who I am: beyond a hard worker who is passionate about faith and life and family and friends. I know that I have a sense of humor, and I can be funny around my good friends, but I cannot define my humor, and can't even tell you something that I think is funny. So my goal is to laugh more, and to find out what makes me laugh.

I also want to have fun doing different social hobbies. But I don't know what I like that I am good at. I used to love making cards and painting and drawing and making jewelry, but now it just seems like too much work and too many "parts" and things that I don't have. I like writing, but that's what I do for work and school and for Bible study, so the pleasure's not purely for fun.

I do know that I like "treasure hunting" through shopping, going through books and magazines and replicating beautiful things. I like being outside in the sun, I like being with other people and I like cooking. I like dancing and working out. But are these hobbies?

I am in search of hobbies (that I really don't have time for) and I am in search of laughter. Laughter is important, and sometimes I am so sick of being serious!

Hipster Puppies

No hablo Espanol

Despite growing up in California's Central San Joaquin Valley, I do not speak Spanish. I do not understand Spanish. I took a few years of it in high school, but that's about it. I am mostly just familiar with Mexican Food, which I love, and I have been craving like crazy while living here in DC.

But an amazing thing just happened. Amazing. I had to take a foreign language exam as a methods requirement for my PhD Program, and I PASSED! I am so grateful and thankful to Jesus for helping me, and for directing my mind and helping me discern the answers to the reading comprehension exam. I am so happy and pleased with the results...truly, it was a shot in the dark on this one. I had no way to methodically study for it, since it could have been on anything at all.

But, Praise God, I passed this hurdle. That means that I am 100 percent done with all classes, and this is what is left:

Pass my minor area comprehensive exam in May (in American Politics subfield)
Read the literature on religion and decision making in IR
Write a proposal/prospectus for my dissertation; defend it
Write my dissertation; defend it
Go on the job market!

Wow.....that is still a huge uphill battle, but I have been diligently and faithfully ticking off boxes as I go along. By the grace of God alone. "I can do all things through God who gives me strength."

Stylin' in DC

There's some interesting things to note about being both a student at GW and a staffer on Capitol Hill. The kids on campus, boys as well as girls, are absolutely stunning. Sorry, Fresno State, but the people at this school are so much better looking as a general rule. Perhaps it is because their parents have exponentially more money, and they wear Juicy Couture PJ's, as well as all the best designer shoes, bags, jackets, etc. Their makeup and accessorizing is to a T; not to mention that 18-22 year old beauty puts the rest to shame.

Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill, style is a manual you can buy at the office supply store. It doesn't exist. The interns look super trashy in their skimpy ensembles from the J.C.Penny's Juniors department....okay, we were all there at one time...and it seems like every time I walk into a briefing or meeting, its a flood of gray, black, and navy. I don't really ever feel inspired to wear unique clothes that appeal to me, because I don't think anyone would appreciate it-- not even me, when I am sitting at my desk, shivering because of the arctic temperatures that run throughout the federal building.

I have to admit to changing my style and my habits depending on where I am going...to work or to school. It has been good to be on campus-- despite being constantly aware of physical and material shortcomings, it has kept me on my toes of self expression through dress. And perhaps I get lazy and tired in dressing for work; the people I meet with deserve to meet with a staffer who gives 100 percent to being professional and well-dressed.

I don't have a solution yet, or even any normative thoughts on this reality...I just wanted to share. And I should also mention that the third place I dress differently for is church. It's tradition. My parents always instilled in me the desire to dress up for church, because we are "Going to God's house." And to this day, I want to "enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise." For that occassion, I will always don my partiest of party dresses. I love that.

Oh, wow. Did I just describe a psychology of dressing? Next up: the verse that talks about not worrying to wear; you know, the one about the lilies of the field.