Mourning into Dancing: Praying the Psalms

You, oh Lord, turned Juliet’s wailing into dancing...

I think this blog is turning into a blog for myself, and maybe it also makes God proud, since I repeat everything he teaches me. Today I am going to model a type of prayer that I love. I cannot do inductive Bible study, read Scripture in its original language, or otherwise have an academically informed knowledge of how to use the Bible. But this is one thing I like to do. On occasion, I have prayed for others this way as well, and it is helpful because I know I am praying the Will of God for someone. So, for example, I will pray Psalm 30 and I will pray for my own needs, since I don’t want to improperly discuss my beloved friends on my blog without their consent.

Juliet exalts you, Lord, because you lifted her from the depths and did not let her enemies gloat over her. Lord God, Juliet calls to you for help and you heal her! You brought Juliet up from the realm of death and spared her from going down to the pit. Juliet will sing the praises of the Lord, and encourage all of His faithful people to praise the Lord! Juliet urges others to praise His holy name together with all the saints. Lord God your anger is but a moment, but Your favor lasts a lifetime. Juliet seeks your favor forever, God. She understands that while weeping may dampen her pillow right now, on this night, rejoicing will come in the morning, just as your mercy comes in the morning!

When Juliet felt secure in the past she would say, “I will never be shaken.” Lord, you favored Juliet, just as she desired and prayed for, and you made Juliet’s royal mountain stand firm, resolute! It was only when your face was hidden that she grew dismayed and altogether fearful.

Then Lord, Juliet called and called to; she raised her voice calling for your mercy, pleaded for your mercy. Juliet understood and called out “What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness?”

Juliet reiterated her cry to God Almighty to show her mercy and be merciful, to be her ever present help. She had faith that you would. And you did!

You, oh Lord, turned Juliet’s wailing into dancing, and removed the soiled sackcloth and replaced it with the clothes of your Joy oh God!

Juliet’s heart will forever sing your praises ceaselessly; she will not—cannot!—be silent. Oh Lord our God, Juliet will praise you forever.

So help me God!

Virtues

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul."-- Henry Ward Beecher

Most of the time I forget to be grateful. I don't feel thankful until I lose something and then I realize how grateful I was to have it in the first place. But once that thing I took for granted is gone, I lament even the lost opportunity to be thankful for it. This is one of the oldest principles in the book, but as most of these old principles go, you don't "get it" until you feel it personally.

I went to a friend's 30th birthday party this weekend. It was incredible...probably about 100 people showed up to celebrate him. People love and appreciate him, and although I don't know him well, I feel that I learned a lot about him just by hearing witness of his great friendship, sweet spirit, etc. What really stuck with me, though, is that at the end of many laudatory speeches by his friends, the birthday boy stood up and told everyone how grateful he was for all of us and for another year to live. His gratitude was exemplary of the quote at the beginning of this blog post. It was so humble and beautiful to witness his gratitude.

I feel more like grumbling than thanking God sometimes. Most currently I feel this way about disappointment in love. I definitely have not felt grateful for that. In fact, I would willingly never have to go through that ever again. But God is slowly helping me to be grateful for the experiences that He allows me to walk through. And I do believe that He redeems and perfects everything. So I continue to ask God to help me be grateful and thankful for this experience, even if some days I feel so hurt that God would allow me to go through this. I am grateful to God for living and livelihood and my health and heart and mind and community and family. I pray that my heart feels grateful even for the intense disappointments and hurts I have experienced.

Psalm 34

Psalm 34 Of David. When he pretended to be insane before Abimelek, who drove him away, and he left.

 ¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.
 ⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them.
 ⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
   I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
¹² Whoever of you loves life
   and desires to see many good days,
¹³ keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from telling lies.
¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.
 ¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
   and his ears are attentive to their cry;
¹⁶ but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
   to blot out their name from the earth.
 ¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
   he delivers them from all their troubles.
¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
   and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
 ¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,
   but the LORD delivers him from them all;
²⁰ he protects all his bones,
   not one of them will be broken.
 ²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
   the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
²² The LORD will rescue his servants;
   no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Footnotes:

1. Psalm 34:1 This psalm is an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.
2. Psalm 34:1 In Hebrew texts 34:1-22 is numbered 34:2-23.

Living Well in DC

I am going to give a very short (3 minutes) talk on "Living Well in Washington, DC."

Upon first reflection, I was convinced that I was failing to live well in DC. But God slowly started bringing a few things to mind that I could share.

These are my themes:
1. Unlike anywhere else, DC teaches you how to be a friend. Everyone here needs a friend. When I first moved here I didn't know anyone (in fact, I thought people would walk up to me!) but through thoughtful pursual of friendships, I have learned so much. But still so much room to grow.

2. Learned to care for, develop relationships with, and invest in non-believers. Feel called to the community where you are, at work, roommates, school, strangers. People want to talk. You can share you life with them, talk about your faith, invite them to things. Whether or not they are interested now, they will always know they can come to you. Your steadfastness of faith and belief is the best witness. My old friends from highschool, for example, probably know that if they were to speak to me years from now, I would hold fast to the same central identity. Also learn to put up boundaries in a healthy way.

3. Never stop growing. I am a sponge, a learner by nature. Soak up what DC has to offer. I will never live in another place that has the intellectual, thoughtful theological, action oriented, or community driven culture. With so much, for FREE! Takes a certain taste to be interested in intellectual, political, theological Christianity. But it is definitely here.

4. If you don't like where you are, and you don't feel called to leave, pray and dig deep roots. First sermon I heard in DC was about how people never unpack their bags. And that is a sure sign of continuing shallow relationships and a shallow life. At one point I really disliked being on campus at GW because I felt it was oppressive to spirituality in general, Christianity in particular. I forced myself to go on campus every day and pray for my school. My heart changed!

5. Don't be self indulgent. Many of us have expendable income and no responsibilities. Be wise and invest carefully. Even though we are single and have the opportunity to explore and find ourselves, women are still called to be nurturers and mothers to all. Don't forsake that. Especially if you want to be married someday. 

Please, please give me feed back as to your top three themes. (I was specifically asked to share the missional one, about reaching out to non believers).

Fear and Shunning

You mentioned last weekend you cringe when I

Speak; you shudder, close off, and shut me out.

You think I don’t sense this wall when I try

To talk, respond, share; I’m careful—won’t shout.

Long while ago I came to sad terms

Grieved, mourned, and resigned our kinship, forlorn;

You left my presence, every time you’d spurn

me; go with whomever, this slight I’ve borne.

Distance like water has passed between us;

Hope for your lively freedom still stirs me.

I cannot refrain from my caring fuss--

I long for you to be health-full and free.

I gave up on us, thought you gave up too;

Your disinterestedness I felt too cruel.

-JTG

Christ in Art (Images and Music)

 Christ in Art- Names of Jesus

I am very intrigued by the nexus of art and spirituality.

What I Don't Need That I Thought I Needed: Heavenly Father Knows Best

I love this article, or this entire series, actually. The writer discusses all the (good and reasonable) things she thought she needed in a husband, and what God knew she did/did not need. It is very striking, and her example of needing her husband to "draw her out" is not similar to me, but the point is amazingly made through this example.

New Wife and Mom Insight No. 4: I Didn't Know What I Needed
By Suzanne Hadley Gosselin

One Thought About Methods of Individual and Corporate Prayer

On Saturday, I went to Planned Parenthood, like I do on many weekends. I line up by other faithful abortion-fighters on the sidewalk and gently and respectful pray silently, sing quietly, and add to the prayerful presence outside of that cold, hard, dead, building. I just want to cover the people that walk in and out again in prayer. Everywhere we go, as children of God, we bring Him and His authority to reign there. So I like to bring God to a place that He is otherwise not welcomed.

But this week, I realize that I recognize and know the other familiar faces that pray there.I have prayed "near" them for weeks and months now. We have never shared more than acquaintance pleasantries and conversations that engage the religious faculty without reaching the heart or soul. And this day, while the other people nodded their greeting, they (and I!! I am not excluding myself from blame here) continued to pray silently, for at least 30 minutes, never acknowledging each other until I made a comment to one prayer when I was sure he had finished praying the Rosary. I didn’t feel welcome to talk to him otherwise, and would have felt terribly invasive if I offered myself as a prayer partner.

It is not the rosary’s fault; that is not what I am saying. But the manner in which it is prayed, especially in public, can divide hearts and souls from one another. I could not engage with any of the people praying the rosary individually beside me. They were not engaged with each other, I was not engaged with them. We didn’t edify and build each other up in the faith. It was lone saint-soldiers asking Mary to plead with Jesus for the lives of the lost infants. It made me even more sad. I just wanted someone to pray with, to join hands and motives and hearts’ cries for God’s mercy on the people there.

Yet we were all divided and silently and individually petitioning our God, who by the way is the SAME God. Yet we stood in isolation. No fellowship, camaraderie, or unity. It was really sad.

People are free to pray however they feel led, but I feel as if we all missed each other as we stood there and prayed last Saturday with the same aim in mind, and to the Glory of the very same God.

BIOGRAPHY SERIES: "The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God"

This is a snippet of correspondence I sent to my sister in reply to her reaction to the biography on Ruth Pakaluk. A very brief bio of Ruth's story: Ruth and her boyfriend Michael started to explore Christianity as undergrads at Harvard. They married, became Christian, converted to Catholicism, and raised a family. At a very young age, and with four children already, Ruth got breast cancer. During remission she had another baby, and when pregnant with her sixth child, she chose to forego chemotherapy/radiation so as not to hurt the child she was carrying. As a mother of six, and a remarkable pro-life activist reknowned in Massachussetts, and as a leader in a conservative Catholic community, she passed away at 41 years old. This is a beautiful tragic, triumphant story told by her husband, Michael, and primarily through her faithful correspondence to old friends.

I sent the book to Noel and to my mom. Noel sent me a long response, and I am including most of my response to her letter here. Sorry it may not be completely comprehensible in this format, but it may give you a good look into the important debates and themes of faith in our day. 

I love this book and it is an incredible inspiration to me, but at the same time, no one I know in this living world is like her....just as saintly, perhaps, but different still.  I feel a little intimidated and apprehensive, all the while admiring her. I think that God gives us the grace to do what He calls us to do, and Ruth had a special grace because of her calling to be a helpmate for an ambitious man and a beautiful brood of babies. Without diminishing any of her value, any woman God called to that life could have the supernatural, spirit-led pluck and gumption that Ruth had, if she was obedient and submitted to His will as she was. One thing I would find really interesting and helpful would be to know a little more of the struggles she faced besides the cancer and losing a child. Her life through her letters was so "together" except for the times she mentioned that marriage was difficult. I would love to have had a little more insight and instruction into how to sustain and overcome difficulties and petty obstacles of every day life in marriage and as a mother to all the children. I am sure she wasn't always perfectly together, and had the same struggles all women face. It would be helpful to read of someone's experiences going through that.

You mention the lifelessness and the pragmatism and the “religion” she had. But don’t forget what first drew her into the faith…being moved by the love and care that the pilgrims had for one another, and the self sacrifice reflected in their care—regardless of what was scientifically true—from that point, they had two types of Christian community…the super liberal universalist or Unitarian church, and the Catholic Church. Between the two of those, you and I would both sway Catholic any day. Especially in our day in age. The alternative was completely postmodern, wishy washy, unorthodox. I can take some deliberation and interpretation and license with doctrine, but not much. I am, at the end of the day, pretty solid in my orthodox beliefs. They are ingrained in me, and my spirit inwardly discerns what is and is not “right belief”—within reason. In many ways, what you see as “religious” is really good boundaries and a good framework for knowing Orthodoxy (right belief) but of course leaving room for God to be creative and explode the boxes you put him in. This tension is always a good one to be mindful of, I think. But without good boundaries and out-of-bounds markers that come from “religion”, “spirituality” can come to mean whatever one thinks it means based on logic, feeling, experience, etc. This is why Tradition and organized religion and a counsel of witnesses are important. Our faith is not just about our relationship with Jesus; it’s about Who God is and has been forever. 

You are right that her faith governed her decisions, and swamped her personal feelings. She was absolutely convinced of the Truth, it’s rather remarkable. And I guess when one has that amount of faith, doubts and personal struggles become less dominant as one accepts the authority of scripture and doctrine and can more easily rest in that. You say that she tried to live within the mold morally and personally…and that it’s droll and lifeless. But in reality, she just trusted God and her Theology more than she heeded her own inner turmoil. She believed what she knew about God. Again. She believed what she knew about God. And that is why it is not academic but true spiritual relationship and right religion. Emotions are good, but should be in line with and testify to the truth of the Doctrine. One should not have to deny or ignore emotion, but to submit emotion to God’s authority and have the feelings transformed by the renewing of the mind. Easier said than done (for example, individuals with same sex attraction) but plenty will still tell you that everyone has to submit their feelings and preferences to God’s authority at one time or another.

I agree that guidelines for character, behavior, thought, actions, etc, must come from Christ, but he is and was always the same, and humans are humans are humans. What was faithful practice hundreds of years ago is still beneficial for us today, which is why the Apostle’s Creed held by most evangelical denominations as well as the Catholic Church talk about the “communion of saints” and the fellowship of believers from ancient times through today. Yes, God moves and is alive in us today, but chances are He is not instructing us to do things that he didn’t inspire our predecessors to do, or stop us from doing things our forefathers did from the era of the Ascension on. It is a very self-centered faith that merely looks at what God is telling us to do today by asking, “What does this Scripture say about me?” Rather than “What is this saying about God and his kingdom’s reign?”

You say, “If God is in us, then we are not solely dependent on the authority of the church to determine God’s will, word, purpose, etc.” Right. Exactly so on an individual level, although wise counsel and discernment can only help. But in terms of setting the bounds of orthodoxy, authoritative church counsels have been used by God to determine exactly how to interpret and determine certain formative doctrines of Christianity, such as the Trinity and certain documents such as the recent “agreement” on the terms of Justification signed by the Evangelical Lutherans and Catholics to mend the major schism of the reformation. These are necessary parts of our faith history, and without the solid rock of these beliefs, individual spirit led truth would only carry us so far in understanding God. Enough for salvation? Probably. But there is so much abundant life and freedom beyond salvation for the faithful Christian.

Will I become Catholic? If I marry a Catholic man, then yes. If I don’t, then probably not, although who knows. If I moved to a different city and wasn’t involved in a protestant church and knew that I could find good spiritual and intellectual community in the Catholic Church then maybe. But I will not regularly pray to Mary and the Saints (although I really did like Ruth’s talk on Mary at the end of the book.) Or talk about the Pope and church hierarchy and read all their writings to the exclusion of my own preferred humble spiritual sustenance of scriptures and practical inspired strange biographies like Stanley Jones.

You say that your church would not exist if it was legalistic or had liturgically defined morals. Maybe. But the moment you stop taking stands on right or wrong, you become part of the reason people like me actually consider Catholicism. Because it’s arguably the single Christian movement who has always held right views on many of these social issues. Catholic Charities are on the front lines of poverty and aid relief in every part of the globe. And the Church has always been and always will be pro-life in every sense of the word, and has an unparalleled stance on divorce, unseen by other modern Christian churches. Being accomodationist is, I think, one of the scariest realities of the protestant church today, especially the now largely impotent and irrelevant mainline protestant denominations ."

Surprised By Love: Reprinted in Entirety

Saint-Exupery wrote: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." We shouldn't be surprised by love in marriage, but too often, we are.

By Tim Muldoon, May 30, 2011

On the day this column is published, a woman named Sue will make a decision that will affect the rest of her life. To be more precise, she will reaffirm a decision that she has already made 6,574 times: to spend the day married to me. On this day, she and I will celebrate eighteen years of marriage.

In days like these when fewer people choose to marry, and when the ideas of what marrying means are changing, one of the key questions is this: what on earth are people like us doing, exactly?

At the most basic level, we're choosing to live together rather than apart. We're choosing to be roommates who share books, furniture, household appliances, pets, a mortgage, and occasionally clothing.

On a deeper level, we're choosing to make life plans with each other. Together we decide on where to live, what jobs to take, where to spend our vacations, whom to spend holidays with, how to allocate our money, how to plan for the future.

On a still deeper level, we're choosing to be friends. Aristotle suggested that friendships fall into three categories: pleasure, utility, and virtue, and that only the friendship of virtue is the real deal. To be friends means more than just having good times together (though we do); in fact, one of the promises we made at the beginning was to stay friends "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer." It's great when we have good times—and we have plenty—but in some ways it's even more important that we stick together when times aren't good at all. Her friendship has meant the world to me when I've faced problems at work; my friendship has sustained her in times of health issues.

Similarly, our friendship means more than being useful to each other. The roommate stuff and the life planning stuff is important, but at some point all that becomes rather insignificant in the face of that third category that Aristotle talks about. To be a "friend of virtue" is to seek goodness together, and that's the key. I don't look to her to make me happy, nor does she look to me. Together we look toward ideals, toward acting in the hope that life together is better than life apart.

My friendship with her is the most unique I've experienced, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that the way she lives in the world is so radically different from mine. Aristotle's teacher Plato wrote in his book Symposium about the myth of the androgyne, the male-female creature who was split into two halves and who yearns to reunite with the other half. Our friendship is a marriage of two people radically unlike each other and who find beauty in the gaze of each other. There's something about looking at the world through her eyes that enhances my own living in it.

To be friends of virtue is in itself beautiful, but there is a still deeper level that continues to unfold as we grow older. We are not children any more, and so the passion that drove us in our early lives has yielded to the daily practices of building and sustaining a life with children, parents, communities, jobs, and other responsibilities. We fell in love with each other, a love that was consuming and delicious in its consummation. But no less intense is the feeling of radical security we have built together: the knowledge that through all things we can count on each other, and not feel a need to compete or fear loneliness. From that foundation has grown great beauty, most specifically, the challenges of negotiating the pain of infertility and the rigors of adoption. I wrote my book Longing to Love because I continue to be amazed at how love emerges even in ways I can't explain or understand. It's the most profound way that I, even as an academic theologian, understand the reality of God.

The deepest level of our marriage is the place where we can find each other in times of silence, in times of suffering, even in times of great busyness and activity; the place where we are surprised by love, where the words of Jesus "let no one separate what God has joined" make the most sense to us. For in that place, which I dare call "holy" in the sense of "set apart, mysterious," we find that even though it is we who promise each other in marriage, there is really something greater at work. I find it more appropriate to say "someone" greater, not out of false piety but out of practical reality: things don't elicit love from me, nor can I take comfort in being loved by a thing or idea. To be surprised by love is to encounter a person, and when I read the spiritual and mystical texts of the Christian tradition I resonate with the ways that they name the person "God."

The anniversary card Sue gave me this year has a quotation by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry that has meant much to us over the years: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." It's a sentiment that helps me understand why the Church came to see marriage as a sacrament, for it points to a God whose love is a constant refreshment of the daily life that has sustained our marriage over the years.

Tim MuldoonTim Muldoon is a Catholic theologian, author, speaker, and retreat leader specializing in the ways that Church traditions speak to contemporary life. He has written extensively on the themes of young adult spirituality, Ignatian spirituality, theology in postmodernity, sexuality and marriage, and adoption issues.

Surprised by Love

I read this article today and it took my breath away...the philosophical, theological, deep romance, tenderness, and the crescendo of it's magnificence (meaning, the longer you read it, the better and bolder the statement). I do think it is too bad that the opening is so weak. The latter half left my insides swirling and found me crying at my desk with big droplets of tears rolling down my cheeks. Maybe it is because I am utterly heartbroken and this stirred up my own feelings and longings. I emailed it to a few people and at least one responded, "...this didn't wow me like it wow'ed you..." But for the other sensitive, romantic idealists and philosophers out there, do you think this article is just another sweet article, or is is something magnificent? Maybe my radar is off-centered at the moment. Please let me know what you think.

VIEW ARTICLE HERE: Surprised By Love by Tim Muldoon

The Spiritual Autobiography

E. Stanley Jones, missionary

Jill Briscoe, evangelist

Ruth Pakaluk, Convert to Catholicism, Mother, Pro-life Activist

Elizabeth Prentiss, documenter of discipleship from childhood to aged womanhood

About four years ago, I became interested in reading spiritual autobiographies. I was not aware that this was a genre of literature until I read one or two and through a discussion with my friend Laura, learned that she had taken a class at Pepperdine that focused on this literary form. It was of utmost interest to me, mostly because I didn’t have any heroes of faith that I looked up to and wanted to model my life after. This is probably because I didn’t see the people and examples around me adequately, but judged them with a plank hanging out of my  own eye (Matthew 7). In any case, I began to savor and delight in reading other people’s tales of faith and growth and discipleship. I have not read any of the “greats” but in the next few days, I do want to write about three that have most impressed me so far. The first one, I barely remember and I would like to re-read, but I don’t have the book any longer. I think I will purchase it tonight and re-read it so I can report back to you. It is fictional, and called “Stepping Heavenward” by Elizabeth Prentiss and is likely based on her own life. The second is E. Stanley Jones, the third is Jill Briscoe, and the fourth is Ruth Pakaluk. (Ruth’s is not really an autobiography; it was compiled by her husband prior to her untimely death from breast cancer). These are amazing modern people who have taught me so much. It does hurt me though that I don’t know people living today for whom I have such regard. Please God show me.

PS as I was writing this, I recalled a treasure I had as a child. I received the Fox's Book of Martyr's (or an abridged version of the Saints) when I celebrated my First Communion as a child. I recall loving to read of the sacrifice and martydom of the sacred, holy men and women. 

His Peony

Long past the prime of blossoming spring rose.

Past, more, the sweet, fine scent its wilting bloom;

Tight clench of bud in spheres, in May still closed

June! Peonies display celestial plume.

The life span of the floral bed of spring

Lasts mere a breath then droops; petals a-ground.

Late blooming spheres just woke—fresh, light, smelling

Fragrant;  beauty all summer-long abound.

I was once hermitted within my heart

Fearful, tearful, timid, wounded, forlorn

I gave one my love, my first—Now apart

Would I have more within? Was my soul shorn?

“My Peony, you’ve not used all your best;

Once opened up your art spills forth endless.”

-- JTG

Chapters Two and Three Outlines

This is the outline for the second and third chapters. My head is swirling, SWIRLING!!!, with realization about how much research and tedious (albeit pleasant) work this will take. Just to gather the information, let alone to operationalize and analyze it in any meaningful degree. Wow. I definitely have my work cut out for me. At least I now know what and how (sort of) to go about it. Much more definition is needed, but it feels good to put it down on paper. (Or on a Word Document....)

The second chapter, after establishing the parameters of U.S. foreign policy identity and change in the modern world in the first chapter, will focus on legislative behavior since 1970, asking the practical empirical question of whether Arab nationalism and Islamic fundamentalism has made religion more salient in the foreign policy legislative process. I will look at when and how religion enters the political sphere, and if this is different than in the past. How, when, and by whom is religion brought into the foreign policy dialog? Is this different than before 1979?

I will approach this question through content analysis of the Congressional deliberation process in all stages of agenda setting, policy making, rule making and implementation. Additionally, within the full range of foreign policy legislation, I will analyze the content of Committee and Subcommittee hearings, Dear Colleague letters, bill text and amendments, Statements of Administrative Position, amicus briefs, one-minute speeches, and committee/floor speeches, as well as bill sponsorship, co-sponsorship, and roll call votes.

I am certain that this process will be revealing regarding legislative behavior in the foreign policy domain. The independent variable will be fluctuations in conflict aggravation in certain regions of the international system, electoral variables, threats toward the United States from certain regions, and other relevant variables that capture dynamics in the Middle East region. While I cannot begin to hypothesize to any informed degree at this stage, I might expect that when conflict erupts in general within the region, within states and among differing religious groups, the United States will not assume a threatened posture and will leave religious commentary out of the policy or intervention dialog. However, whenever violence is directed at the United States, policy makers will immediately and indiscriminately filter a response through a religious identity framework although the legislation and outcomes that come from the deliberation are stripped of religious language.

The third chapter looks at how religious identity shapes individual members’ personal experiences in legislative foreign policy decision making. In the past, scholars have looked at the religious views and backgrounds of Members of Congress as they inform decision making on certain social issues like abortion and traditional marriage. However, this study will be more comprehensive in looking at all foreign policy issues, from U.N. funding, international family planning programs overseas, the global HIV and Malaria initiatives, intervention in genocide situations, condemning other State actions, and all issues covered by the Foreign Affairs Committees in the House of Representatives and the Senate. This will be a preliminary attempt to see which aspects, if any, of religious identity inform Congressional preferences, in a manner similar to partisanship and constituent base. The different aspects of religious identity relevant for decision making have been elsewhere defined as “belonging, believing, and behaving.”

The “belonging” variable of religious identity is the denominational affiliation or the sociological group aspect of religious identity. Therefore, the belonging variable captures whether one is Southern Baptist, Secular Jewish, Unaffiliated Agnostic, or Athiest. The “believing” variable of religious identity involves the theological leanings of the individual, which is often mediated through the denomination. This variable requires a close look at the orthodoxy-scale of the beliefs as well as understanding of specific teachings and doctrines that inform preferences for foreign policy issues. The “behaving” variable of religious identity involves a Member’s involvement in religious practice and community. Some databases of this information exist, and others must be refined and assessed, although today there is much more understanding of Member’s religious leanings and identities beyond a mere “Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Other” categorization that comprised the totality of religious survey information until recent years and more thoroughly operationalized religious identity.

This chapter will compare the effects of these measures on political behavior alongside the conventionally significant partisanship and constituent base variables. This will show when, if ever, along the whole spectrum of foreign policy issues, each of these variables is salient and significant. This is an advance on current scholarship in that it assesses broad religious effects on foreign policy behavior using more foreign policy issues than previous studies and utilizes and incorporates newer religious data with a broader grasp on the intricacies of American religiosity, especially amidst Protestant denominations.

In addition, the third chapter must include a robust section on Presidential religious identity. However, it will be restricted to how the President’s identity influences his behavior on foreign policy making in the legislature. Of course, the role of the President in foreign policy decision-making extends far beyond the deliberations in Congress, and is worthy of study in its own rite. However, this study will look only at legislative deliberation and action on foreign policy issues, and the President plays an important role in this, through issuing Administrative positions on significant legislation, making appeals to Members of Congress and directly over their heads their constituents. Therefore, it is important to assess the ways in which the President’s religious identity in all aspects of belonging, believing, and behaving, inform his preferences and policy decisions.

The method for this section includes drawing from current datasets on religious variables for members, roll call votes, committee votes, content analysis of speeches and press releases, op-eds, and co-sponsorship of legislation. In addition, I will search for information regarding participation and attendance at religious groups and caucus meetings in Washington and in their districts. It would be useful also to obtain personal interviews with Members on the Foreign Policy Committees in the House and Senate regarding their decision-making processes. Additionally, a Principle-Agent analysis may assist in discerning to which Agent Members of Congress are beholden, as their choices may have multiple pulls—to party, President, constituency, pressure group, religious denomination, or theological doctrine.

In the end, chapter three will take us closer to understanding how and when religious identity informs decision making on various foreign policy issues that come before the legislature through various means.

Chapter One Outline

The first chapter of my dissertation will focus on U.S. foreign policy Identity. This will be heavily focused on qualitative content analysis of important policy documents and decision making processes. It will also possibly turn into a second shorter chapter on the organizational expansion of the State Department, since this is the personification of U.S. identity abroad through the medium of a government agency. Thus, bureaucratic politics, the organizational model, and process tracing as well as content analysis will aid my search for U.S. foreign policy identity.

This paper has so far served to show why the advent of religious fundamentalism has ushered in a new threat-advisory to the contemporary world order, and each decade that has passed since the Iranian revolution has lead to increased transformation. I propose in my dissertation to focus on a spectrum of the religion-in-IR debate by looking at the way that religion has informed US foreign policymaking since the 1970s, perhaps restricting my analysis to the Middle East if it proves to be a unique region.

In the first chapter, I will look at the way that US legislators have understood American identity as regards foreign policy in the post-Iranian revolution era. I hypothesize that American legislators increasingly view our nation as a religious nation—moreover, a Christian nation. At the very least, more talk of a sovereign God has colored the foreign policy rhetoric since the 1970s and the entrance of political Islam on the world-stage. As it has become increasingly visible, and had more of a voice due to technological advances, global telecommunications and the internet, U.S. identity rhetoric has become increasingly religious. Thus, American identity since the 1970s in foreign policy analysis has become increasingly religiously characterized.

To examine the identity to which the American legislature and related institutions ascribes, one must look closely at the changing foundational documents of contemporary foreign policy such as the Bush Doctrine. Additionally, one must consider the expansion of the U.S. State Department as an organization, focusing on the creation of the Bureau of Religious Freedom. One must also look at the dialog centering on the responsibility of America toward democratic countries with oppressive regimes. These include the Iranian revolution of 1979, when a U.S. backed regime was overthrown for a popular fundamentalist uprising, the election of Hamas into power in the Palestinian Authority (PA) in 2004, Egypt in 2011, and rumblings elsewhere. Has the rhetoric of American diplomats and legislators changed? Additionally, is the legislator’s perspective of American foreign policy identity different than the mass public? Than the media and bureaucrats?

If U.S. legislators view American identity in foreign policy matters as part of a broader or religious identity, there are interesting implications about whether or not this religious “othering” is divisive or uniting. For example, there are global faith movements, in which the devout are set opposed to the secular, following the “culture wars” divide rather than an ethnoreligious divide. The “culture wars” divide denotes an arising dichotomy between individuals with an orthodox religious worldview and those with a secular worldview. This has led to movements of orthodox Jews, Muslims and Christians joining together in opposition to unorthodox programs within certain domestic and international issues like family planning programming and funding at home and abroad, among other concerns. This can be witnessed in social issues, but may apply more widely beyond issues of abortion, traditional marriage, and public prayer. I hypothesize also that the changes in foreign policy identity have gone from promoting democracy’s work to promoting God’s work in the eyes of U.S. Congressmen. Since the World Wars, these have been conflated, but in today’s world, the difference between functional, definitional democracy and “good” democracy has begun to emerge causing additional concerns for U.S. policymakers.

One last question within this first inquiry into broader U.S. Foreign Policy identity is whether the U.S. has a regional identity in one part of the globe that differs from another. Is U.S. identity as regards the Middle East a primarily “religious” identity, where religion is the salient matter, whereas U.S. foreign policy identity is a “liberal democratic” identity, such as in transitioning post-soviet regions and in China, Africa, India? What is the difference between these regions that would cause American identity to be segmented?

Tree House Study

I'm sitting upstairs at the Starbucks down the street from my house, the tree house loft. I got here really early today, which allowed me to secure my most coveted spot, the table by the window overlooking Pennsylvania Ave. It is a bright and sunny day, with the last of the few spare leaves shimmering golden and maple in the sunshine. Below, life feels and looks like it is picking up speed again, after the lloooonnngggg sloooow trudging through the bitter cold and chill of winter wind. Oh, life, come alive again! Oh, soul, come alive again!

Last night I went walking on the National Mall with my good friend, and I enjoyed the brisk pace to keep me warm, and the cool sprays of rain water sitting on my skin. My cheekbones almost felt frozen, but everything else was toasty!

Another thing brightened my day today: upstairs there were two little blond boys. Maybe three and four years old. They were chatty and sunny and an older man was talking to them and making them giggle. When he left, he told them to have an awesome day, and they both chirped back together, "you have an awesome day, too!" It was so cute, unbelievably cute, and they were pure sunshine and light in my day. I know its going to be a good one!

And it will end just as sweetly at the Cheesecake factory with my Sweetheart!

Working out the Proposal

I decided to let you into my head as I begin to write my prospectus. I will post starts, re-starts, and re-do's, go-back-to-the-drawing-boards, and clarifications of my proposal. This is today's. As soon as I get a good five-page outline of my larger dissertation, I will be very well pleased. Please pray for me, and limit your comments at this point regarding the content of my writing to either "interesting point on...unclear here....or I think this is wrong...or I love you!" because the last thing I need is to go down rabbit trails. I am painfully aware that I am not able to cover everything interesting or relevant in THIS document; I will hopefully have 50 years to write and publish on the topic. So save it up, write it down, and submit it to me, but please don't overwhelm my mind, which is filled to the brim as it is! Thanks my friends.

It appears that there has been a surge in religious justification, rhetoric, and references in the contemporary U.S. foreign policy debate. Echoes of increasing religious salience can be seen anecdotally around the world. Political unrest and violent flare-ups in almost any region of the globe can be attributed in part to religious conflict and grievances. Additionally, popular media programming and publications often report on and exploit religious motivations and causality in politics and international affairs.

However, academic scholarship has fallen behind in recognizing the informative role that religion plays in U.S. foreign policymaking. This is due in part to the secularization thesis to which many political scientists, especially international relations (IR) scholars, ascribe. The premise of the secularization literature is that religion is increasingly relegated to the private realm, and therefore is no longer a cause of war in the post-enlightenment era. Secondly, most scholars do not care to delve into the intricate complexities within American religion.

An important place to start in looking at how religion has influenced foreign policymaking in the United States in the modern era is to look at the rise of Arab Nationalism or Islamic fundamentalism. These two movements are not the same and should not be treated as such. The first is an ethnic movement, the second is a religious movement.

It is a relevant and critical question as to whether the mass public conflates the two, as well as whether legislators conflate the two into a common antagonistic “enemy” image. I hypothesize that neither legislators nor the mass public adequately identify the important distinctions. While the movements have some common threads, including opposition to Israel and a common ethnic and general Islamic bond, the Arab nationalist movement is a political, ethnic self-determination movement of Arabs who want to establish nation-state type control and power. The Islamic fundamentalist movement, on the other hand, is not an ethnic movement with any political tie, except that this movement wants to infuse government and the state with Islamic clerical leadership and Islamic law, imposing it on the entire population, and possibly the world.

Although there has been a religious undercurrent in American politics since the founding, as identified most distinctively by Alexis De Tocqueville in the 1800s, and flare ups of American civic religion throughout American history, religion and religious antagonism has moved toward the center of global conflict since the 1970s. Although the evil of Hitler and the anti-religious elements of the Cold War engaged scholars and policymakers in debates about the nature of good and evil, and absolute right and wrong, there has been no religious “other” like that of the Islamic fundamentalists that have taken world-stage front since the Iranian revolution in 1979. Since that time, there have been critical junctures where militant religious fundamentalists have threatened order and U.S. policy. For example, the democratic election into power of groups on the U.S. terrorist “watch” lists, like the election of Hamas to the Palestinian Authority, of oppressive Islamic clerics who impose a rule that counters what the U.S. State Department defends in their human rights watch reports. The U.S. is currently holding its breath to see what happens in Egypt—what happens if the Egyptian populace elects a fundamental Islamist group in the wake of the U.S.-backed, primarily secular populist Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak?

The world is changing in critical junctures such as this. The social scientific law of the democratic peace may have more or less governed the post WWI and WWII world and led Francis Fukuyama to declare the soon to be realized “End of History” when all regions and nations reach a mostly peacefully coexisting liberal democratic state. But the ideological conflict introduced in the Cold War just set the stage for a less power-and-capability driven international system, and ushered in a state system where states reach conflict over deeply held and incompatible religious worldviews and doctrines.

Powerful, Effective Prayer

“More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of” -Lord Alfred Tennyson

Last week I attended a book club meeting and was able to spend time with a woman I recognized but did not personally know. When I introduced myself to the familiar-looking woman, she said, “Oh, I have met you before. You prayed for my husband to get a job, and he got a job!” I immediately remembered this couple from church—over 18 months ago, at least. The details all flooded back to me, and I felt so happy and blessed that God had allowed me to witness the outcome of my prayer-- for a stranger, no less! 

When I first started going out with my boyfriend, we prayed for a woman we met who was looking for a job—and SHE got a job, too!

In addition, I belong to a Monday morning prayer group and we have prayed for many things over the years—jobs, families, marriages, school—and one by one, so many miracles have happened.

Last night, I prayed for a friend who was going through a hard time. She emailed me this morning and said, “Whatever you prayed worked because I am much less troubled and burdened today.”

I am not writing to brag, obviously, because if I could have done anything at all about these situations, I would not have prayed—that is my weakness, in that I wait until I cannot do something myself to actually pray about it. I should start by praying, and let God do all that he wants to do. I want Him to know how much I believe Him and trust Him to do all things.

But this is encouragement to me and to you to pray! As Alfred Lord Tennyson says, “More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.”

Eastern Market Charm

I now understand the charm of the local farmers market. I am not into knick knacks or junky little things that can often be found at flea markets, but Washington DC’s Eastern Market is SO much more than that. Yes, you have to walk by and through the peddling to get to the market, but once you are inside, your dinner menu is boundless! Meat and flowers and cheese and fish counters as well as locally grown produce.

I really wanted tacos yesterday and went in search of ground beef. I didn’t want to go all the way to the store, and I just wanted a little bit, so I walked to Eastern Market before church. There is something so charming about visiting your local market on the way to church. It is so quaint! 

Eastern Market smells like fish, but somehow it doesn’t matter, because you know it’s so authentically fresh! I ordered my half pound of ground beef and went to church. (Yes, I refrigerated the meat while I was in there!)  When I got home, I cooked it, and it smelled and tasted so good. Just perfect. 

I loved the whole process. I think I will start a tradition of cooking a meat-centered dinner once a weekend, with meat fresh from Eastern Market. Just the walk there, the colors, the smells, are so fresh it reminds me of living in London or New York City. Stop by for dinner some time! If it’s nice out, we can sit outside.

Hand Written Correspondence

 

I have been doing well on my New Year’s resolution number one: reading fiction. Today, I institute resolution number two: corresponding with my loved ones. I have been terribly remiss in not faithfully calling or writing those I love or even returning calls. It is not lack of care or love. It is both laziness and inconvenience—two things I will not consider valid obstacles any further. Laziness, because it takes a lot of time and effort; and inconvenience, because of the time difference (I am early to bed and early to rise) and the CA time difference poses a boundary (-3 hours), and the annoyances of the cell phone reception and awkward phone-shape situation.

Rather than email correspondence which is both less romantic and more immediately burdensome because of the pressure to send an instant response, I want to take up, or rather re-take up, letter writing. It will allow me to spend time getting to know my family beyond a simple five minute catch-up phone conversation. I can take my pad and paper anywhere, and there are plenty of meaningful cards to send to people. I do find that letter writing makes it sometimes difficult to ask questions, because they stand rhetorically unanswered…a lonely question-marked clause.

In some ways, letters are a strange mechanism for sharing and communion.  They are the ultimate in self-reflection, because they are all one-sided. Me, putting my life and my thoughts, upon you. And then you get the chance to talk back at me, uninterrupted. However, through the ages somehow sharing and interaction effectively result from the intimate pages. Anyway, I am resolved to keep up a letter campaign with several people: my grandparents, extended family, and friends. And the nice part is that letters come back answered and then you respond again. The timing seems to be an appropriate distance apart, and you are not obliged to respond until the letter is returned. It sets a natural pace.  

I hope to send one today, or at least have one written. I may even compel my little Sunday school students to write love notes to themselves from God today. I cannot wait to see how my relationships grow in this arrangement.

Charmingly Gift-Wrapped, Ancient Evil

When I was home for a few weeks over the winter break, my mom and I spent a lot of time window shopping in beautiful boutiques in Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Paso Robles, and Solvang. One of the objects that we saw and piqued our interest was a little, charmingly bound, small red book titled, “Fortune Telling Book of Birthdays.” The book had a description of a personality for individuals born on each day of the year. It struck both of us as amazingly accurate analysis of both the noble and less-stellar parts our our personalities on our respective birthdays. Neither of us purchased the book, but we both noted it.

A few days later, my mom mentioned that she wished she had purchased the book because it was so spot-on and she wanted to remember what it had said. So, I stored that away in my memory and went and purchased the book from my local Anthropologie in Georgetown, with the intent to send it to her. Before I sent it, however, I showed it to a few friends of mine to see what they thought about their own birthday fortunes. I found that many of them also thought it was pretty accurate, but nothing too out of the ordinary. I then took it into work intending to send it.

Before I did send, it, however, I tucked it into the desk in my office and forgot about it. That night, I was thinking about the “Fortune Telling” aspect of the book, which is really in title only, as the book only offers a personality description…nothing prophetic or beyond reason except its broad generalization. I justified the “spiritism” of its premise by the fact that, like with Chinese medicine, there are ancient civilizations that have been on the earth infinitely longer than our modern western, Christian era, and therefore they have a much larger scope of knowledge to draw from. Perhaps, then, there is nothing to “Fortune telling” rather than assessment of characteristics and data over millennia and millennia, where patterns could emerge that actually make sense. For example, maybe in the past thousands of years, there were enough millions of individuals born on my birthdate that had similar personality characteristics to me that generalizable patterns could be drawn about people who are born on 23 December. Therefore, I despiritualized the fortune telling aspect of the book in my mind and went soundly to sleep….

…ONLY to be awoken rudely in the middle of the night with a horrid nightmare. It was evil and scary and terrible. I shook my head and tried to settle back to rest, when an image of a nefarious snake entered my mind. I knew it symbolized evil and Godless spirituality. I just knew deeply in my core that it was a warning of the dark spiritism of that aspect of life. And I needed to get rid of the book. No, I cannot send it to my mom. I cannot return it to Anthropologie for another person to buy. I must get rid of it. Throw it in the dumpster where no one can rescue it.

It’s not the book itself that is evil, but what lies behind it. I was so ready to accept the “fun” and “Gimmick” of the novel book. But evil and sin is not, not ever, novel. It is the oldest trick in the world. Thank you Lord for showing me this.

Intimacy with Christ

Psalm 63

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

1 You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God will glory in him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Jane Austen and Chocolate

• Who: You, and your friends of a female, stylish, literary, and fun variety
• What: Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility (movie) and Chocolate
• When: Saturday, January 22 from 7-10pm. The movie will start promptly at 8pm.
• Where: Juliet’s house on Capitol Hill
• Why: Jane Austen and Dessert are brilliant and only other women can adequately appreciate them with you.

I will be making a few chocolate desserts, but your sugar contribution is welcome if you feel like baking for an appreciative crowd.

Hostess Juliet

Jules Grun, "The Dinner Party"

I am continually trying to generate and stir up within myself (or rather pray for God to set and light the embers within myself) regarding hospitality and generosity. Last night at church, in talking to the pastor's daughter and mother, I discovered that it might be a bit troublesome for his 9-months pregnant wife to get the home ready for a dinner party on Friday night for newcomers to the church. They are renovating the house in preparation for the new baby, painting and making the basement inhabitable.

I knew right away that I ought to, and wanted to, volunteer my home for the occasion. But it took a lot of convincing for me to offer, and I am very glad that I did. But now I have to prepare. While I have had friends over, parties of large quantities of people, little girls' tea parties, and small groups over for dinner and festivities, never have I yet had a true, mature, adult, responsible dinner party. I mean....the pastors of my church and the new people! At least I don't have to cook much. I will probably do something, and provide drinks, ice cream, salad, pizza, etc. But I am at once scared and excited! Help me, Lord! At least I have friends that can help me, I am sure. 

Sonnets For Your Consideration

Dear, sweet Central California

Cowgirl-me

Maple-hued leather boots, soft, broken, scuffed

Hugs my arch with familiar, welcomed ease

Sends senses home to dusty, warm, and roughed

Yet beauteous and bountiful valleys.

The San Joaquin Valley is my mother;

She beckons through her fruitful, sun-kissed hearth

Bids me: “Tend, care, and cherish no other;

Heed sweet nurture in your here-cradled birth.”

Dear boots have travelled far with me from home.

Now my mark of styled art and flair, though

Shine with goodly ethos where I was grown

Dust of Valley fills my City’s hollow

Cowgirl in me, never stop your nudging;

City-girl-me needs meek, humble judging. 

At Harvard Square Starbucks where I wrote this Sonnet; Mommy was sitting behind me

A Sonnet from Cambridge

Show me inklings, Father, of what will come

As I sit amidst great minds at Harvard.

My worth, far more than name and status’ sum,

Stepping, reaching up, You draw me heav’n-ward.

Your plans for me are wise, faithful and true.

I trust, abide in You implicitly.

Regardless where I end, what I accrue,

You’re my harbor of true felicity.

Your ways are greater, thoughts are higher still

Than imagination could dream to pray.

Your Will pre-purposed shall my hands fulfill,

And mind speak forth what burden you convey

Spirit, I faint answer your commission

Come, breathe life through holy intercession!

-- (Based on Jeremiah 29:11, John 15:4, Isaiah 55:9, Ephesians 2:10, Romans 8:27)

Post-Thanksgiving Thankfulness

It’s Sunday morning, and I flew back from California Friday night. As soon as I walked in the door, my friend from church came to pick me up for a Thanksgiving Part II celebration, which was a time dedicated to the “thankfulness” part of the holiday. We sat around the living room and silently recalled what we have to thank God for, and then prayed aloud, thanking God for those provisions of a physical, object, or emotional nature. It was precious, and the prayers were deep and true and real. So many gifts, so many personalities, so many personal relationships with God were present in that place. Lovely.

In the beginning when we were silently musing, someone opened the front door and stepped in, and quickly said, “Oh, wrong house.” He must have thought we were CRAZY—all 10 of us sitting silently in a circle in a candlelit living room. Ha. Oh well, I choose to think and hope that maybe he saw angels in our midst, or at least a glow of holiness and love as God’s saints, his sons and daughters, called upon His name in thanks and prayer.

A Bright Star

Last night I watched the movie “Bright Star” in its entirety. I had sort-of watched it before but never from start to finish. It is a truly immensely romantic movie, in all of its subtleties. It centers on the friendship and love of John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Keats is mild and diffident in person, but the small intimacies and romantic fancies that he and Fanny share are so alive and endearing. I especially love how she shows her care for him, by sewing a pillow-slip for Keats’ brothers funeral encasement, and for bringing him “perfect” cookies in a “perfect” casing while young Keats is still ailing. She mends his threadbare jackets. He says at one point in the film,

Write me ever so few lines and tell me you will never forever be less kind to me than yesterday. You dazzled me.

I think that this movie speaks to me in large part because my primary love language is acts of service, and that element of their relationship was so strong, at least on Fanny’s part. That is how she showed her care and concern. It was a wonderful movie; and the latest in my literary life immersion which I have delved into lately.

It started by reading Frankenstein, then finishing Til We Have Faces, and Wuthering Heights. I am now reading Jane Eyre again. Then I need to finish The Idiot and The Picture of Dorian Gray. I am also going to read The Christmas Carol with a friend, an second annual tradition. I find, however, that whenever I re-read a favorite book, it all floods back to me and I remember the detail that I had thought I forgot. I also tend to enjoy the book less the second time. I guess it is because I am more circumspect about it- at least that was the case with Wuthering Heights.

I have also been writing a sonnet-a-day, or trying to get to that prolific level. The problem is that I don’t know how to improve something as subjective as poetry. I need advice on that end, so if you have any, or any articles to point me to, please do so! I will post one sonnet here for your investigation and analysis. And perhaps more in the future as seems appropriate to post.

Most worthwhile past time

Growing up I read voraciously. I read every book at the house and always wanted more. I loved getting a new book that I had carefully selected. I loved "sustained silent reading" in public schools-- it was actually called by that whole title. I was so into my books that I would laugh out loud and then be embarrassed because everyone looked at me. I read and was so pleased to finish each and every book. But I didn't read many classics. It was mostly Christian fiction, historical fiction, and award winning books for school.

My mind, imagination, and power of argument and writing jumped immeasurably during that period. I think that I can credit that activity with my love for learning and ideas. Of course, God has all credit for any good thing in me, but I do think that reading has greatly led to my strength of mind.

So headed into 2011, I have decided that my resolution will be to read only classic literature and fiction. No more "how to" type books or books "about" Christianity and God. Instead, I will read the Bible text itself or a really study-focused Bible Study for my small group. And plenty of fiction, which is where the mind really takes off and applies the situations and ironies and hypocrisies and lessons to life and relationships.

To this end, I downloaded--for free!-- Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights, The Portrait of a Lady, Anna Karenina, and The Idiot. I already finished Frankenstein, which had some amazing things to say about friendship and responsibility and nobility of character and sacrifice. I will post some quotes from it soon.

I am working on Les Miserables STILL and need to finish that next. Please ask me about it. I need to finish. It is great, but I am at a standstill. That shall occupy me this weekend, I think.

Looking forward to updating you all soon. Please let me know any recommendations you have for good fiction that edifies the mind and soul.

Back online

It must be a fall thing with me; the temperature starts going down and I start feeling a tiny bit melancholy and homesick. I retreat just a little bit, start looking at warm, fuzzy things to insulate my body during the winter months, and my palate starts wanting warmer, spicier food. So the late summer salads are making their way to more substantial options. I always get the urge to indulge my inner Martha Stewart, or someone similar but less austere as that great lady.

So to start things off, I invested a pittance in four ramekins from Marshalls. A small (3.99 for 4) investment, but with endless possibilities for appetizers, individualized breakfasts, or mostly desserts. I also looked at the miniature dutch ovens or casserole dishes, just to get a taste for them, but decided to move slowly. So I walked away with ramekins and an eagerness to make baked eggs on a layer of spinach and tomato for brunch the next day. The baked eggs were good, very interesting. I skipped the important parts that makes that dish decadent and very French: the cream and real butter that are poured liberally over the dish as it cooks. I am sure it would have been better with that extra fat, but the soft egg yolk adds the perfect amount of creaminess and lipid for me.

I was also shocked to see, in my recipe searches on Williams-Sonoma and Epicurious, that you can make your own yogurt. I was so excited. I have been an all to frequent visitor (and subsequently wealth squanderer) at Sweetgreen, the new "healthy" frozen yogurt and salad establishment less than a block away from me on Pennsylvania Ave (between 2nd and 3rd St Southeast). I just love the tangy, bare sweetness of the plain, frozen and greek yogurt varieties that have been popularized recently. So I have been stocking up on Greek yogurt, both the Fage and the Trader Joe's variety, recently to combat that urge to go buy it at the restaurant down the street. Still, even at the grocery store, it is a bit expensive and indulgent for me.

So I was excited to make my own, both for the financial savings, and the not-insignificant pleasure I get from making my own food, conducting "scientific" experiments, and manipulating ingredients and playing with the nutrient content of my food. (I think if ever I have the chance, I would love to study Molecular Gastronomy).

So I bought 1/2 gallon non-fat milk, Pectin, and a starter yogurt with live bacteria (I chose an all-natural version that boasts a variety of live/active cultures). I didn't have a thermometer, but I followed an online guideline that gave great time measurements for the different steps. I DID have to set my alarm to wake up two different times at night, but by this morning, I had made 1/2 gallon of plain, nonfat, delicious yogurt! So now I don't have to pay the prices or make the trek to the grocery store as often. That, especially, in the winter months coming up, is priceless.

Anyway, more adventures to come. Soon I will be rolling out my account of my Amy Grant history which was fulfilled in my attending her concert last Saturday. I actually have more to say about that than I thought I would. Talk to you soon.

Love,
Juliet

My Day of All Days...so far

Today is a significant day. And already three things have gone wrong.

First, after taking the time to put hot rollers in my hair to give me the perfect, big, bouncy, spring-y curls, I glanced out the window before I walked outside and noticed big drops of rain pouring down. Heavily. So I decided to go into work late, since I don’t have an umbrella and I really didn’t want to mess up my hair today. Not today. Not TODAY!

Second, as I walked into the Library of Congress security line, I put my purse and my coffee down to walk through the metal detector. I had my staff ID badge out so that when I beeped—and I always beep because of my shoes or my jewelry or all of the above—they would just wave me aside and wand me down in the simplest fashion. But, not today.

The police officer said, “Ma’am, your staff ID lets you get through without taking your shoes off, but you’ve got to take that necklace off. Sheesh…that’s bad; usually it’s a small necklace and then it’s okay, but that—THAT —is an egregious necklace. That’s bad…you have to take that off, there’s too much metal…that’s egregious.”

Wow, thanks, Mister. I get what you are saying, but my necklace is awesome and gorgeous and I love it. I will take it off and put it on the conveyer belt to go through the machine, but come on. It’s not a “bad, egregious” necklace. Whatever.

Third, my coworker and I made it 35 minutes late to an hour long Republican “Theme Team” meeting I had been anticipating all week. Once we got there, the event was strangely nowhere to be found. The good thing is that I didn’t miss it entirely. The bad thing is that it’s not today…its tomorrow.

So far, that’s my morning. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about this evening. I am too excited to even write about it. And no, it’s not a date or anything like that.