Going Public?

I am contemplating making this blog more public, by putting a link to it on my facebook page. I might remove a few (very few) of the postings that are just too personal for universal consumption. But I just think that there's some people that may benefit from a blog about faith, love, and trials of a very real life. I would love to know that I could reach more people with God's love just because they click on my page and read some of the entries. That's what I want my life to be about. This is a way for me to tell the message of my life. We all have something to give the world, and maybe this is what I have to give. What do you think? I am not decided yet.

Emmanuel

God is With Us (Casting Crowns Christmas CD)

The skies don't seem to be as dark as usual
The stars seem brighter then they've been before
Deep within I feel my soul a stirring
As though my hope has been restored
The shepherds say they've heard the voice of angels
Confirming rumors spread across the land
That a child protected well from Herod's anger
Is our Father's Son, and the son of man

Love is raining down on the world tonight
There's a presence here I can tell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel
He's the Savior we have been praying for
In our humble hearts He will dwell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel

I feel compelled to tell all who will listen
That peace on earth is not so out of reach
If we can find grace, mercy and forgiveness
He has come to save, He is all of these

You're the Savior we have been praying for
In our humble hearts You will dwell
You are in us, You are for us, You are with us, Emmanuel

Too much of me in my blog

After watching the new Julia Childs movie with my mom, I recognize that it is easy to allow a blog to become a vortex sucking one into self absorption. Since I already struggle with being a heavy egoist who is consistently self-absorbed, I want to find ways to veer from self focus in my posts. I don't know how, however. I guess maybe I will try to comment on other events, ideas, praise reports. Maybe I will share with you what I am learning and make this a teaching tool. I don't know.

The escape from self absorption eludes me. As a student, I am constantly attentive to myself and take care of myself and me alone. What can I do to transform this way of life?

I volunteered to help with the Children's ministry at church. I already help in the nursery, but kids that can talk, jump and form ideas are my favorite kind. Therefore, I want to help teach and work with the older kids.

Strangely enough, I am more terrified of sharing the Gospel and its truths with children than I am with intellectual adults. So funny and weird.

What I Wish Everyone Knew

I desperately want to convey the following to the people around me who look sad, depressed, worried, scared, angry, bitter, and otherwise malcontent:

God is in us
God is for us
God is with us
Emmanuel

This will be my mantra (excuse the extra-Christian spiritual implications of this word) that I wish to embed in my thinking and consciousness. I want Christ to renew my mind and transform my life with this reality deep down in my heart, mind, soul and body.

Can you think of ways for me to impart this reality to others in an evangelistic way? I guess I could say aloud in conversation, "God is with us and God is for us!" But how else can I tell other people about this hope for living?

The Democratic Peace

Question: "The spread of democracy will have a dramatic effect on states’ foreign policies and in turn on the character of international relations. Assess the main arguments behind this position and the evidence that supports and contradicts it."

Answer: Democratic peace theory is a main tenet of the foreign policies of many modern nations. Democratic states and institutions act on the belief that democracy promotion is the most effective, certain way to ensure stability in the world order. Rather than subduing and controlling another state through imperialism, if a state can implement a coup or otherwise force regime change, the world will be safer for all democracies.

Empirically, it has been demonstrated that democracies do not go to war with other democracies, although they do go to war with non-democracies. Scholars do not agree about the mechanism or logic of this relationship, and it is questionable as to whether democracy qua democracy is the relevant variable in this relationship. Rather than pursuing a blanket policy of democracy promotion, states must be careful to determine what comprises “democracy” and what type of war (outbreak of war, smaller scale violence, insurgency) they wish to avert. Espousing a policy of promoting democratic institutions without democratic socialization could be inadvertently leading to a system of stable illiberal democracies that look nothing like what today’s democratic states and idealists wish to propagate. Foreign policymakers must be careful in acting upon the simplified definitions and quick fixes to systemic conflict.

Communication/Signaling in IR

NOTE: I have switched to an outline format for my daily responses.

Question: Both rationalist and constructivist theorists emphasize the importance of communication in international politics, but they think about this relationship in very different ways. Assess the relative strengths and weaknesses of rationalist and constructivist theories of communication, with specific application to a major controversy in the field of international relations. Examples of such controversies might include the causes of war, the origins of inter-state cooperation, or the circumstances under which we may expect system change.

Answer: Rationalists and constructivists in IR conceptualize communication and signaling differently. Rationalists focus on the difficulties of signaling resolve and credible commitment between states as a mechanism leading to war. Constructivists focus on the mechanism of argumentative rationality and persuasion as ways in which actors construct and constitute identities, structure, and norms of appropriate behavior in the international system. I will describe and assess the strengths and weaknesses of each approach. Finally, I will apply these theories to the explanation of war in the international system.

Juliet v Winter

I know that this is ridiculous to the extreme, and very narcissistic of me to assume, but I honestly feel like Starbucks as a company is intent on freezing me out of their stores. They see me coming, know that I intend to spend several hours at their tables and get a free refill with my registered card after consuming my first beverage of choice, and as soon as I sit down, they crank up the darn air conditioner. It really bothers me that I cannot find a warm spot to study in all of Washington. My house is warm, but that is out of the question as a study location. Last night I worked from home until almost 10:00 pm to upload my promised homework onto this blog, and I had a hard time sleeping because my mind was still reeling from thinking and writing.

There is literally nowhere to go where it is warm and comfortable to sit for a time and read, think, or write. I am simply unable to coexist peacefully with the winter weather. The wind is horrific, and the cold is just penetrating and shocking to the extreme.

At least it's sunny and gorgeous outside. I love this city, I just don't like the cold. It hurts, sucks the life and joy out of me, and leaves my sensitive skin red, dry, and flaky. So awful!

Dublin

I have an opportunity to go to Dublin about six weeks from now, from February 11th through February 16th. My good friend is going, and I would love to experience Dublin for the second time with her! But before I book a flight, I am waiting on two important dates: my parents will be here for a conference in February or March, and the date is yet to be determined (so frustrating). I also have to take the foreign language tool exam for my program at school, and they have not posted the single date either. Once I find out, I am booking my flight. I told my friend, my parents and God (not that I TOLD God, but rather set out the proverbial fleece), that if I can secure a ticket with a base roundtrip price in the $300's, I will go. I know taxes, fees will raise it into the $400's but that's why I have been working hard and TAing and RAing last semester.

Have any of you been to Dublin? Any suggestions?

Anarchy in International Relations

Is anarchy a useful assumption for IR theory in the 21^st century? Why or why not? Provide  clear definition of anarchy.

Anarchy is no longer a useful concept or starting point for IR theory. In fact, anarchy never was a practical starting point for theorists of IR or any other practical social science. Throughout history there has been a community or a semblance of structure among the system of states and polities that ordered and constrained state behavior. Therefore the definition of anarchy as a system absent authority and hierarchy is not relevant for IR theory, and its persistence in the discipline has led to pessimism and a negative self fulfilling prophecy.

In this essay, I will provide evidence that anarchy is not, nor has it ever been, characteristic of the international system. I will then address why the modern era is continually moving away from any resemblance to anarchy. Next, I will introduce important international phenomena that has been overlooked by theorists who focus myopically on the effects of anarchy, and show that this phenomena is becoming ever more powerful. Last, I will show that even if anarchy did characterize the international system, it does not change the overriding importance of other variables in the international system, and therefore is not a useful primary explanation for any IR theory, even neorealism, because it does not in and of itself offer a mechanism for war or peace.

A tearful revelation

This Christmas, I learned a lesson from my grandmother. After a long, fun, exhausting week of snowboarding, catching up with family, and expending all my extra energy in straightening my hair and making my bed—rare occurrences for me—Christmas rolled around. It was an early morning, a glorious day, a time for family, unhealthy food, awesome gifts, and fun and games.

But inside I was a bit melancholy. I was longing for the day that my exam would be over, and feeling old and displaced in Bakersfield. My mom came around with the video camera, and asked me what I wished for in 2010. I teared up as I said, “I want to pass my test in January.” I was feeling so hopeless and….wrong.

Still in my sad reverie, my grandma, always somewhat abrasive and inappropriate looked over at me and said, “so, do you have a BF?” (Yes, she used the abbreviation). I said, “What’s a BF?” And she said, “A boyfriend.” When I said a measured “No,” she replied, “Well, why not?”

At any other time on any other day anywhere else, this wouldn’t have bothered me, except for to less-endear her to me. But I took it as a screaming, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?” which is telling, because it has been the hum that a particular serpent called Lucifer has been whispering into my ear about my education, my position in life, my financial status, my housing situation, my health, and now my relationship status.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was livid. I was furious at her insensitivity. At her obnoxiousness over the course of the visit. I cried hot, angry tears…and I am not an angry person. I walked into my parents room to stop convulsing with anger and sobs. I was really bothered and upset.

I had calmed down a few minutes later, but I did not want to walk back out to the living room. Soon, my grandmother came back to my parents’ room, her eyes misty and her chest heaving with sobs. She started crying and said, “Grandpa said you left the room crying. I am so sorry. I never wanted to upset you or make you sad. I never want to make you sad. Just tell me when something’s none of my business. Everyone has their own time. I am so sorry. I never want to make you cry.” She continued to repeat her regrets and her sorrow over making me sad.

At that point, I puddled into tears for this pure and simple reason: I have never in my entire life had anyone apologize to me with such sincerity. She was truly, genuinely, authentically, and completely remorseful over hurting my feelings. It wasn’t even her fault, really. No one has ever wronged me enough to warrant such a sincere apology. But this was a beautiful example at what that would look like.

I have never been sorry for anything in the way that grandma was sorry. Some people would express emotional, tearful apologies over huge issues, like betrayal or something like that. But even then, it’s usually only when one is sorry for being caught. Grandma’s apology and sorrow was certainly not sorrow over being caught, but merely sorrow that she had hurt my feelings. Isn’t that amazing? I will never forget it.

My mission, as I have chosen to accept it

In order to hold myself accountable, to ensure that I am studying in the way in which I need to be studying, and to give you all a look inside my account of international relations, I have decided the following:

Every day between tomorrow and January 22nd, the day of my exam, I am going to write and post, on this very blog, an answer to one of the past comprehensive exam questions.

That is a huge undertaking, but I am going to post my two-hour timed essay for you all to read.

Happy reading. I am scared out of my wits!

Test date

Friday, January 22, 2010 is the date of my comprehensive exam. Please, please, please keep me in you prayers. I need all the help I can get.

Mr. Marine

My little brother, Paul (19) called me yesterday to tell me that he was accepted at West Point! He still desires to attend the Naval Academy, but if he doesn't get in there, his plan is to go to West Point. All I know is that regardless of where he goes, I'm gonna visit as much as possible! New York or Annapolis, woo hoo!!

Ushering in the Decade

Friends, how are you? I would love to hear from you, about your holidays, your resolutions, your life-themes moving forward.

As for me, I decided that I am going to write out, by hand, all of Jesus’s words in the Bible, which are identified by their red lettering.

So far, I am in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. I will go through the entire New Testament. It is easy for me to lump the Bible all together and not pick specific aspects of it to focus on or distinguish. I know, by and large, what the Bible says about lots of things. I can very easily tell when something goes against the tone and tenor of Scripture. But knowing and being able to identify the Words of Jesus will help me to know Jesus better as well. About two years ago, I realized that I knew Jesus as Father and Jesus as Holy Spirit better than I knew Jesus as son, as man, and as the carpenter in Galilee. So I did a Bible study called “Jesus the One and Only” which helped a lot, and now this Red-Letter experience will only solidify that, I think.

So that is my New Years Resolution. I also want to floss everyday, but I missed yesterday. Oh well. I also want to become a better dancer. And now I need to start looking for another job for when mine ends next December. A friend encouraged me last night by saying that unemployment should fall below ten percent soon. Let’s hope so! But even then, that doesn’t bode well in all natural accounts. Good thing God isn’t bound by the natural!

Yesterday I had a great start to the New Year. I got off the plane at 6 a.m., after a seamless and perfectly smooth journey from Bakersfield to Dulles, VA. I have never had such easy travels as I experienced in all of my December journeys. My trips to Nashville, Sacramento, and Bakersfield all went just as expected. No delays, no problems at all.

I got home and talked my roommate and good friend into going on a walk with me. I mentioned that it would be nice to have people over for a New Years Day dinner party. We decided to go for it, and she decided to fix a traditional southern NY meal—black eyed peas and collard greens. We also made black beans and chicken chili with rice. We had corn bread, sweet potatoes, regular baked potatoes, spaghetti, and a few other things. I was so scared we would not have enough food, or that the crockpot dishes would not be ready in time (we only had a few hours to prepare). But it TOTALLY worked out! There were 17 people that I can count that were there, and they ate and ate and we had a little bit of everything left over! It was perfect. Thanks, God! And it tasted pretty good as well. And it was healthy.

I had to face one of my fears and hang-ups, which is, “if I can’t do something perfectly, I don’t want to do it, because that feels like failure.” So this prohibited me in the past from having parties…because I didn’t have the time and money to spend to have a fabulously perfect party. But last night, we made do, thanks to my VERY classy hostess roommates and friends, who make everything look and work out beautifully. It was one of the best dinner parties at our house. People were there from 6 until after 10 pm, just laughing and talking about faith and life and funny things. It was so great!

More to come, for sure, in 2010! And not only that, but if you read back to my entry on “How God helps me in the Kitchen,” I was able to use the 2lbs of ground beef, spaghetti and sauce that I had in the freezer for just such an occasion!

To those of you who came, THANKS! You blessed us. Come again soon.

“I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

I did a topical study of a particular word and its related terms. Does anyone see the theme here? A prize for someone who can name the topic!

  

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always” 1 Chronicles 16:11

“Nevertheless, the righteous will hold to their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger” Job 17:9

“Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:24

The B-I-B-L-E

So it has been a good two weeks since I have read my Bible. If I’m honest with myself, it has been much longer than that since I have had a decent time with God. When I crave Jesus, which I do, regularly, I tend to mop up my messy self and stop up the gap with secondary works by Christian authors or thinkers. What’s wrong with me? I need to go straight to the source from whence cometh all life and help. There is no substitute. Learn, Juliet, learn! Time after time, I put my spiritual life on hold. Unlike Kent, going back to my earlier posting, I don’t get up in the middle of the night to make time for Christ when I am busy. Rather, I just shrug him off, like I do (unjustifiably) to so many of my friends, saying “he’ll understand.”

He won’t push me, but I am missing out on Him. Not the other way around. Time to turn my heart and mind and feelings toward Him again.

 Time to read His Words to me. Let's see if actually do it. Ask me about it! I will be paying attention, seeing what He wants me to read. 

Snowboarding adventures

With best friend, Josie and her boyfriend Phil, and my little brother Paul-O. Loved it! Although, I was no good and couldn't stop. A full week later, my tailbone still hurts. But totally worth it! Thanks for helping me, Phil and Josie! You were both awesome teachers and even better company. Paul wasn't much help, what with the teasing and all, but he was good, and he was fun. He got us a real, bona fide military discount! Woo hoo!

surfing adventures....

I was not so good. But it was fun, and the surf in La Jolla was bigger than ideal.

Heroes

Recently, I finished a spiritual autobiography of Amy Grant, as well as one by Jill Briscoe. I am looking for my next characters to read about, and my thoughts are leaning toward William Wilberforce, or allegorical accounts like Pilgrim's Progress, Hinds Feet on High Places. I just found out that another person I greatly admire, Bethany Hamilton, has come out with her own tale of life and faith.

Bethany's arm was bitten off by a shark in a surf accident when she was 13, but she was out surfing ten weeks later and is a pro surfer to this day. Can't wait to get the book and tell you what I read.

I know that classifying William Wilberforce and Bethany Hamilton together may seem inadequate to most people, but all we can do is what God sets before us. For Wilberforce, it was defeating and evil of slavery in England. For Bethany, it is conquering her very real fears and doing what God set in her heart to do. Go to it!

Hats, pt 2

Well, I still have at least two more to show, but for now, here's my newest favorite!