Hide-n-Seek, "Hiding Stinks"

Hey Sister-Friend,

When do you hide? What makes you duck when you see someone you know approaching, or lay low rather than assert your voice, presence or opinion into a relationship?

For me, I suppose that it is when I feel “behind,” like I have dropped the ball on something, or I have not been diligent and responsible. Hiding is always covering up my indiscretion, or not following through with something I have assented to. I feel guilt and shame because I don’t live up to my perfectionist inclinations.

Another reason is fear. I remember so vividly watching an episode of Gray’s Anatomy nearly three years ago (which was one of the last times I watched the show, by the way). In this episode, a woman had ignored and refused to see a doctor regarding a growth on her neck that kept growing and growing into literally a HUGE tumor the size of her head that was so obvious. It was a malignant tumor, but she never went into the Doctor because she was too scared to find out what was wrong with her. Because of fear, she procrastinated. Her fear led her to a fatal condition. I realized, then, that any procrastination I was overlooking or nursing in my own life was rooted in fear.

At that point in my life, I started heavily battling fear. And that ultimately culminated in me cutting back from my full time work load, and my life has improved incredibly since then. I am not quenching the Spirit as much by yielding to fear.

At some points, insecurity also has prevented me from facing something head-on. When I didn’t have my hair done, or my makeup, or when I decide to wear flat shoes once in a blue moon, sometimes I would rather escape an impromptu chat session.

So, when you duck so you don’t have to see someone, why is it? Is it the nagging conscience over negligence, irresponsibility, laziness, insecurity, or fear?

Alternatively, when all of your ducks are in a row, when you are responsible and put together and you feel classy and sophisticated and elegant, isn’t it WONDERFUL to run into people on the street and get the chance to say hello? Don’t you go out of your way to flag someone down just to catch up?

What makes the difference? I think it is inner peace, a responsible attitude toward one’s life and priorities, and the confidence that comes from a healthy interest and cognizance of one’s appearance and personal style. Other people respond to this very favorably. You can always spot a shrinking, fading, and insecure person, and it is always unattractive.

So, chin up, hold your head high, and stride on to face the tasks of the day. I will not be hiding myself.

One way I need to make sure that I combat this “hiding” is in my room. It is messy. Always messy. Nowadays, it is not a disaster area as it used to be, it is merely messy. A thorn in my side (NO! that is a victim mentality). But I am taking responsibility for it and it will be organized and put in line by tonight! Promise. Check back with me tomorrow. Hold me to it.

Notice, please, that the reason we duck/hide from someone else is entirely about US, never about them. So turn that around. When people behave in a dishonoring toward you, it is almost always about them, not about you.