In the morning, my soul longs for you -Isaiah 26:9

I am sitting in the final exam while the students in my section are taking the exam. I should be studying for my own exam in January, but I am so keyed up after a full day at work. I love my job. I love my coworkers and the little filial ecosystem we have going there, but after reading and writing and folding and assigning all day long, my brain needs respite. Oh so bad.

I was talking to my cousin, Pastor Kent (he’s my dad’s age, because he is my dad’s cousin, too), one morning quite early. I got up at 5am Pacific time, because it felt like 8am Eastern time. I’ve always known him to go to bed early and get up early as well. And I always knew that he read his Bible early in the morning. But on Saturday, December 12th, the day of Jennifer’s wedding, I got to talk to him about it. He said he gets up at 3am every day for his quiet time. I asked him if he reads his Bible or prays. He said that the routine changes. Sometimes he prays, sometimes, he reads then prays, or prays then reads, or sometimes he just cries and cries.

Oh how cathartic. Just to sit down in quiet time with God and cry and cry. Kent works hard in the thankless role of a small town pastor. He doesn’t have a “cushy” life, but it is filled with love, and a cozy home, and people under his pastoral care. I was so inspired by his words. I felt overwhelmingly convicted about my lack of, or the shallowness of, my quiet times. How often do I get up out of obedience, rather than an agenda? And, more pertinently, how often do I get up early at all? God, help me! I would love to rise early, get cozy, and settle in to hear from you. I KNOW that you would meet me like you meet Kent.

Getting up early is sacrificial, and it is literally putting God first. Jesus, help me to do this. Ruth Bell Graham did this during college, to the point that she almost flunked out of college. That’s pretty funny. I think that Jim Elliot also got up inhumanly early to pray. God can replenish our bodies and our time. I was getting up and doing my Bible Study early for a long while, but then the cold came, and the stress and anxiety and fear, and I caved. I began hording my time and using it to worry about my exams. What to do? I need to surrender and get myself up out of my warm bed to seek the Lord.

Thanks, Kent. I need to spend time just open to God’s leading, to listen, read, write, speak, memorize, or just….to cry and to cry and to cry some more. Oh so healing. And so amazing to hear it from the lips of a time worn and world weary pastor who has seen and been through so much.