Keep Watch on Yourself, Lest You Too Be Tempted

Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

I have learned this verse by experience in the past year. For the first time, I was deeply hurt by someone very close to me. A Christian friend who claims to love and worship Jesus refused to extend grace and mercy to me. And not only to me, but to many others as well. 

One can only do so much to “restore someone in a spirit of gentleness.” It was my place to do so; I was not a stranger or acquaintance, but loved and wanted the very best for this person. It was my job to gently and lovingly try to point out this weakness in the hope of restoration. But my caring intentions were flatly rejected by the individual, who instead judged me and turned a steeled heart toward me. 

I hurt for many reasons, some of which were my own vanity, the feeling of judgment, and the lack of mercy for my human failings for which my friend withheld grace and forgiveness. This is where I started to encounter the second part of the verse, where I lost watch on myself, because my eyes were on my friend, and I was tempted to the same unforgiveness, lack of mercy, and judgment I had pointed out in the first place.

When you try to restore someone with gentleness and they do not receive it, it is easy to become preoccupied with the other person’s behavior, and lose sight of your own heart. I found that mine had become hardened toward my friend, just as my friend’s had been toward me.

I will react differently in the future, and I will determine today that my feelings, emotions, hurts, and pains will not dictate my life or thoughts of other people. I am so sorry for becoming hardened and embittered toward my friend for not receiving or hearing my gentle rebuke. 

God, I only ask that you please help this friend overcome this significant barrier to experience your mercy. You state that God will “forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Jesus please have mercy on those who refuse to forgive and extend mercy. And please help me to let go of the hardness and bitterness that I have allowed to hold me captive.

My Valentine

"Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot sweep it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of one’s house for love,
it would be utterly scorned."
- Song of Songs 8:6-7

Knock and the Door Will Be Opened to His Heart

Knock and the Door Will Be Opened to His Heart

Tip tip toe up, no one knows I’m here, but

He who I come to see in secret; just

Sink into intimacy beyond glut

And clamor and clambering of world’s thrust.

If I could, I’d shuffle to the front, down

On my knees for in my spirit I’m bowed.

Look upon me, your healing Love renown

A gaze on your beauty, all evil’s cowed.

I go for naught but You, for you I crave.

You don’t depend on worship at your feet.

You, One and Only, need not what I gave,

Pure grace and mercy, little me you meet.

You deign to host me in your home, my Lord.

Thank you’s not enough; for you my life’s poured.

--JTG

What Shall I Do for Lent this Year?

I am considering some more rigorous spiritual exercises for lent this year. I don’t know what it will entail. I think it must be a mix of some regular fasting, as well as some proactive things such as extended prayer, scripture memorization, reading…something difficult and challenging. I want to train my heart and mind and body to be more submitted and open to Christ. I want to be more obedient to him. Help me determine what you want me to do, Oh Lord.

PS, I almost forgot about service. Why is it that service is always last on my mind? Maybe I should get more involved in regular service. 

Reflections on Recent Life Controversies

This morning President Obama stood up and spoke his words of faith at the National Prayer Breakfast, a prominent gathering of international leaders and American political and religious elite. He addressed the nation and spoke again about the influence of prayer and personal faith in his life. 

How ironic, that this man in the past weeks and months has completely severed his political alliances with many devout Christians--especially the Catholics who are most affected by his recent decisions to require health insurance plan providers to cover contraception, sterilization, and abortifacients like Plan B and Ella. While the Houses of Worship themselves may be exempt, religious organizations such as hospitals, universities, and non-profits must pay for these products and services that they renounce.

Surely, most people will know how I feel about this flagrant violation of the conscience rights of employers and health plan purchasers who are forced to pay for services that violate their moral core--it is a disgrace! But in this post I want to highlight two things: the vast political change this move signifies, and the Hope that I have in our God to overcome!

First, the interesting news from a near-political scientist. Oh how things are changing. This quote from the article, “Obama is increasingly inclined to side with people who will vote for him even if it means enraging those who might, but probably won’t, vote for him.” It was not too long ago that Catholics were a solid Democratic base and could be counted on to vote Democrat every time. However, the rift in evangelical ideals and the polarization of the parties have caused orthodox Christians, both protestant and Catholic, as well as devout adherents of every non-Christian denomination and religion to vote increasingly with the Republicans. The religious partisan rift is no longer protestant (Republican) versus Catholic/Jewish (Democrat), but along the fault lines of Republican religious believers (orthodox Christian/Catholic, orthodox Jewish, Mormon, and Muslim) versus secular Democrats. As an interesting commentary, I just want to point out that all God’s (and alleged gods) followers seem to be increasingly on the one side of the political spectrum...more controversially stated, God is welcomed on only one side of the spectrum. I know what side I feel comfortable on, even if I take issue with certain aspects of the political agenda. It is undeniable empirically-- in American politics, devout religious adherents vote Republican.

Onto the happy, hopeful note of this whole issue. When I was in high school, and even in college, I thought that the anti-abortion movement was a losing fight. The media and academia talk about pro-lifers as though they are the last vestige of an old worldview, one in which women were relegated and confined to home life. But no more, this worldview said; we are more advanced now and will soon put the last of the protests behind us and become civilized and allow women to do whatever they please in private, and not be rude enough to trouble women with insisting that they give birth to the child they created. Since the Roe v. Wade decision in the 1970s, it was rather taken for granted that the old views would dissipate and be silenced by budding progressivism and the legion of strong women rising in the working world. 

How beautiful to see that the pro-life fight is continuing to gain strength, and to become front and center in the political battle of the 21^st century! This fight between the Christian Church and the Obama Administration is legendary. All of the academics and philosophers would like to shrug off this issue as “extremist right wing” and not to be taken seriously. However, taking on evangelical Christians and directly attacking the Catholic Church is a more significant confrontation than I can compare to any recent political showdown. As the pro-life issue continues to grow to front and center stage, I marvel in the strength of Our God, and the Truth that he embodies and calls us to fight for. 

This issue will not settle down, will not disappear, will not go away. The closer the Church as a Christian-whole grows toward Jesus Christ, the more wisdom and understanding we will have. The more strength we will have for this battle.

I am confident that when we fight for Life in this political battle, we are enacting the Will of God and ushering in the Kingdom of Heaven. There are not many times that I know with absolute certainty that I am directly praying the Will of God over a situation, but the pro-life battle is one of those times.

Thank you, Jesus, for keeping the fire burning, and continuing to raise the matter in the hearts of your people. Please continue to create times of crisis and political standoffs which highlight the depths of the incongruous cultures of life and death, and burden Americans with the undying importance of the pro-life cause.

My New Acquisitions!

So these beauties are not yet arranged and I still have my old dresser in my room, until someone comes to take it away, but for now, I am excited to share my new dressers (inherited from a dear old roommate who left on adventures in the Wild American West.) Just look and ooh and aah with me! Can't wait to arrange everything and then I will take more photos.

Emotional Chastity in the beginning of Romantic Relationships

This morning I got the following email from a friend:

I'm writing an article on emotional chastity, and my focus is the beginning of romantic relationships.  On our first few dates, we women often dream about how our date must be Mr. Right and as a consequence of our premature emotional attachments, the relationship either spins out of control or our hearts become unnecessarily wounded.  I am seeking to describe this phenomenon.
I am collecting ideas of the good and the ugly.  The good habits we women have to protect our hearts at the beginning of relationships, and the bad things we do that allow us to get carried away. 
Would you mind sharing your observations? I will not use anyone's names, I am just looking for ideas!  I also will not presume that what you share describes your own habits; I'm merely looking for trends of the woman's heart.  To get your wheels turning, here are a few I have in mind:

The ugly:

• Facebook stalking
• marrying him in our heads before we're asked on a second date
• evaluating how our first name will sound with his last
• imagining how beautiful "our" children would be.

The good:

• Keeping busy with other things
• Calling him back or texting him back only (never initiating contact)

So I responded with the following. I like this idea, and I do see it happen all too often. I think that I am quite good about having good boundaries and not letting myself get overly emotionally attached. So these are some of my own personal reflections, having talked many friends through relational turmoil.

The Ugly:
-Thinking, “Is he the ONE?” which no doubt translates through our expressions and words and puts too much pressure on the relationship
- Getting overly excited and eager to do “girlfriendly” things like bake for him and invite him to things. Until things are established, the girl MUST refrain from extending any offers of any kind.
- Googling/facebook stalking him, talking to other people to “find out” about him, over-examining all of your conversations, examining all of his relationships with other girls that you know (or don’t know) that he spends time with.
- Reading his blog, or anything that would give you insight into him that he himself did not share with you.
-Considering how your life stories/future career interests may or may not align
- being impressed by his resume, network, job, education, etc. rather than letting yourself get to know his personality and character.

The Good:
- Letting him take every step and letting his behavior be your guide (ie if he opens up, you can open up).
- Continue to maintain openness to dating other men until he defines your relationship (this one got me into trouble  before, but I still maintain that it is the way of wisdom, to protect your own heart)
- Never assume anything. Assume platonic friendship unless he says, with his mouth, in English, to YOU that he is interested in dating you.
- Be equally friendly and gracious to everyone until he defines your relationship.
- Respond to his emails and text messages to the same degree of frequency, length and speed to which he contacts you.
- Do not allow yourself to spend more than three days a week with him until you are significantly involved and boyfriend and girlfriend. Too much attachment can grow.
- Spend time with other people, not just on one-on-one dates
- Be friendly and open, but do not share personal hopes/fears/dreams/desires until you are dating and there is a safe space to do so.
- Do not talk overly much about your future in terms of marriage/children. It’s okay to mention in passing, but not to elaborate on it, and especially never ever mention “our” future until you are formally engaged!!!!!
- Say at the beginning of a formal dating relationship (after you are boyfriend/girlfriend) that you do not use the word “love” lightly and that you do not want a man to tell you he loves you until he is ready to commit to you. Even if he feels it, he must not say so unless he is ready to propose.
- Don’t think about marriage. Just don’t go there. Of course you would never date someone you could not potentially marry, but why think about it when you should be enjoying dating/being boyfriend and girlfriend, and getting to know one another.
- Beware that while marriage is the formal uniting of two into one flesh, the conjoining of two-becoming-one starts with mutual affection and attraction. Guard this very carefully and realize that the longer you are on the path to “becoming one” the harder it will be to separate and break up if marriage is not the ending of the relationship.
- Even the most chaste physical intimacy like hugging and kissing leads to greater emotional intimacy so guard this very, very carefully. It is like emotional super-glue and when a relationship breaks up, one’s body goes through a withdrawal from the other person that makes losing them so much harder.
- Talk to your confidants about the relationship (not everyone, just your trusted, wise counsel). Listen to them with an open mind!!!!! Hear their criticism and take it to heart. You should not be with someone who cannot stand up to (in your mind) your caring friends’ challenge.

I am sure there are MANY more, but these are the few I have for now.

I'm Coming Back to the Heart of Worship

I want all of my efforts to be about You, Jesus. There are so many readings and programs and pursuits that focus on Christian virtues, but they build up the self as opposed to the spirit.  I want to be holy and I want to know you more. I don’t want to be charming, or successful, or the perfect wife and mother. Those would be blessed outgrowths of my soul’s garden, but I don’t want to pursue those things. I think of you, Lord, and I sigh and I fall into your arms. You say, “Seek first the Kingdom of heaven, and all shall be added.”

In Augustine’s City of God, I read that the supreme good is eternal life, and the supreme evil is eternal death. We achieve eternal life by faith in Jesus Christ and living for Him. All good things are from him, and all virtues are good only insofar as they serve the chief good of eternal life. My graces, gifts, and virtues are, in and of themselves, futile. They are full of worth only when we use them for the greater glory of God, when we employ them toward the chief and final good. Helping the poor, being charming and gracious and lovely, and bearing children and submitting to a husband are good insofar as we are pursuing God and pursuing the supreme good of eternal life. All else is vain and meaningless.

I feel surrounded by self-help and self-promotion programs, not just among the secular world of Capitol Hill but also among the Christian community. There is a premium on being a light on a hill—a bright, achieving, and virtuous, shining example of a ‘be the best you can be’ Christian.

Well, I want to be alight in my heart, not a light on a hill. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, consume me and fill me with your love and your praise. I live to worship you!

Is Grace Accumulated through the Sacraments?

Bolded is me, regular font is a great, wise friend.

Do you think I should go to mass at lunch today?

If you want to! If you don't want to, then don't.

Haha, I don't know. I kind of want to and kind of don't.

I kind of just want to go get a sandwich and read a book

You know, God speaks to us in that way too!

But it would be good for my soul to go to mass

  :)

It's only good for your soul if you are going for completely right motives.

That is why I am not a big fan of the obligation-works-mentality. God moves our hearts in all ways. Not just at church.

This is very, very true.

But nothing is more powerful than the Real Presence in the Eucharist!

...and sometimes I am closer to God crying on my bed, and talking to God, who is inside of me! I am not "lacking" him by not going to communion every day.

That is just an added bonus, but God doesn't "wear off" if we don't go to communion every day

Haha true.

I don’t think the Eucharist is just an added bonus though, it's the essence of our faith!

Christ within us is the essence of our faith, and he is with us and will never leave us.

agreed...in part. Christ is with us, and he is most truly present in the Eucharist where he is present in body, blood soul and divinity. He is only present in the spiritual sense outside the sacraments. And while Christ is always knocking at our door, asking to be invited in, we can close the door on him, forcing him out. Thus he can leave our inner chamber through the force of our own will, but he will remain near, waiting patiently for us to invite him back in.

Yes, but the Eucharist does not "Wear off" in 24 hours. That is all I am saying. I don't have "less" of God right now then I did yesterday even though I haven't gone to Mass today.

Yes.. that's a very very interesting point

What  kind of grace is accumulated through regular reception of the sacraments, and what happens when we avoid the sacraments?

I want to get back to this! But I have to go to lunch now. Will write more after lunch!

I really enjoy these conversations with you. I hope you feel the same :)

Yes, I love them. I want to send you the lyrics to the Matt Maher communion song, because I think that is how I feel about daily communion.

me: http://www.songlyrics.com/matt-maher/remembrance-lyrics/

Basically, and I will write more later, for me taking the body and blood, soul and divinity is daily remembering and worshiping him. It is not like a transaction where I "get" something and then it wears off and I "get" it again.

I agree with that

 I see it as an accumulation of grace as well as a moment where we are invited into eternity.

After reflection, here is my final answer to the question “What kind of grace is accumulated through regular reception of the sacraments, and what happens when we avoid the sacraments?”

I think that regular reception of the sacraments is helpful insofar as you use it to clear away any barriers between you and Jesus (Confession) and worship him and participate in his death and resurrection in your heart through the body, blood, soul, and divinity (Eucharist). So these are helpful tools given by God to help us maintain the most close/intimate relationship possible with Jesus, meditating on him and worshiping Him in our hearts each moment, even supernaturally. As a result, we become more like him, and more sanctified.

I don’t think that going to Communion just once a week like the Catholic Church asks its flock to do is avoiding Communion at all. The Biblical mandate, according to my understanding is that we go to the Communion table regularly, like the early church did. “Regularly” can be determined on an individual basis, within reason (ie, at least once a week for a Catholic). But there is a reason even the most pious person would not go to Mass three times a day and take Communion three times a day. To do so would show a misunderstanding, and that Jesus’s presence in their life is contingent upon the constant consumption of His body.

Ultimately, I think that one should go to Confession and Communion as often as they feel personally desirous of it. Isn’t it technically, as a sacrament, an external sign of an invisible reality? Well, my internal reality is that I am in communion with Jesus, and as often as He makes me crave his physical body in the Eucharist is as often as I should go. My desire for Communion flows out of my worship and unity with Christ. That is how I approach it, rather than “I want closeness with Jesus so I am going to Communion.”

It’s probably different for everyone, but this is how I see it. People who perform acts of worship out of duty and obligation remind me of how a certain other friend told me that women who wear the veil in church are “holy.” My ultimate response is this: If a woman covers her head with the intention of bringing greater glory and honor to God in that small act of mortification, then it is a holy thing to do. But wearing a veil in and of itself has zero value unless it is motivated by a heartfelt conviction. Just like people who fast because they feel obligated to don’t receive the spiritual benefit of someone who purposely fasts to seeks the face of Christ and His will in a matter.

When It's All Been Said and Done

Watch the video here

When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I have done
For love's rewards
Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great
That you look beyond our weakness
That you found purest gold in miry clay
Turning sinners into saints

I will always sing your praise
Here on earth and in heaven after
For you've joined me at my true home
When it's all been said and done
You're my life when life is gone...

Dear Friend

Dear Friend, 

You and I have an amazing mutual friend. This mutual friend knows me better than I know myself. He also knows you better than you know yourself. He knew us before we were even a twinkling, starry promise to Abraham. And even more than that, this mutual friend searches the deep things of God and knows God’s thoughts!!! Our mutual friend is the Holy Spirit, and He is everywhere one and the same. That means the revelation He graces you with, and the vision and hope He gives to me should be perfectly aligned if we truly listen to him. I continue to pray that I hear God clearly, purely, and rightly. And I am praying the same for you. Because the more we each individually hear from God, the more aligned our thoughts should be on the important issues currently dividing us, such as our view on friendship, mercy and grace, and forgiveness. It would be bewildering for us to not see eye to eye on these important topics, and this is why I would like to meet on Tuesday, and even more reason to pray first. I want to be empty of all my preconceived notions and prejudices and personal filters created by past wrongs, hurts, and sufferings. I want only to hear the pure, honeyed words of the Holy Spirit in my soul, and I believe that you and I can both reach healing and consensus on the issues that divide us. That is my heart and dream for our meeting. To be of one mind, as we are both driven and trained and loved and propelled by the Holy Spirit who is One, “everywhere one and the same.” He would not speak disparate messages in our individual hearts. 

more long hair...it's a good day!

No particular rhyme or reason........I just love it!

I Won't Give Up

I Won't Give Up
By Jason Mraz

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Cleansing from Sin

"The cleansing from sin we experience will reach to the heights and depths of our spirit IF we will "walk in the light as He is in the light."

The beauty and the mystery here is that Jesus Christ will cleanse us from all sin. But while the mark of sin will be removed by Christ, some of us will at some times receive a deeper and more thorough cleansing based on our walking closely to him. Some remain dulled from sin. I want to be completely transformed and made new and thoroughly cleansed from all the effects and remains of sin. 

Excerpt from (http://utmost.org/prayerful-inner-searching/) 

Do we believe that God can fortify and protect our thought processes

far beyond where we can go? “. . . the blood of Jesus Christ His Son

cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). If this verse means cleansing

only on our conscious level, may God have mercy on us. The man who has

been dulled by sin will say that he is not even conscious of it. But

the cleansing from sin we experience will reach to the heights and

depths of our spirit if we will “walk in the light as He is in the

light” (1 John 1:7). The same Spirit that fed the life of Jesus Christ

will feed the life of our spirit. It is only when we are protected by

God with the miraculous sacredness of the Holy Spirit that our spirit,

soul, and body can be preserved in pure uprightness until the coming

of Jesus-no longer condemned in God’s sight.

"Your arms, Jesus, which are the lift to carry me to heaven."

“We need no longer climb laboriously up flights of stairs; in well-to-do houses there are lifts. And I was determined to find a lift to carry me to Jesus, for I was far too small to climb the steep stairs of perfection. So I sought in Holy Scripture some idea of what this lift I wanted would be, and I read these words from the very mouth of eternal Wisdom: ‘Whosoever is a little one, let him come to me.’ I drew nearer to God, fully realizing that I had found what I was looking for. I also wanted to know how God would deal with a “little one,” so I continued my search and found this: ‘You shall be carried at the breasts and upon the knees; as one whom the mother caresseth, so will I comfort you.’ Never before had I been gladdened by such sweet and tender words. It is Your arms, Jesus, which are the lift to carry me to heaven. And so there is no need for me to grow up. In fact, just the opposite: I must stay little and become less and less. O God, you have gone beyond anything I hoped for and I will sing of Your mercies: ‘Thou hast taught me, O Lord, from my youth, and till now I have declared Thy wonderful works and shall do so unto old age and grey hairs.’”

-- The Story of a Soul

More on the Dignity of the Christian's Soul

“…I’m absolutely certain that people must tell their confessors of the longing they have to receive God. For he does not come down from heaven every day to lie in a golden ciborium*: He comes to find another heaven which is infinitely dearer to Him—the heaven of our souls, created in His image, the living temples of the adorable trinity.” –The Story of a Soul

*ciborium: container, normally a covered cup for holding hosts from the Christian eucharist, or a shape of Ancient Greek cup

You Have Never Talked to a Mere Mortal

“It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory…it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. 

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is in with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. 

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

"This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment.

"Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat—the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.”

- C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory 

Hats

"...Well, it don't stop

No, it's never gonna stop

Why do I have to wear 

So many things on my head? 

(Hats)

One day I'm a mother

One day I'm a lover

What am I supposed to do?

(Hats)

Working for a livin' 

All because I'm driven

To be the very best for you..."

- Hats, Amy Grant

Advice from a Famous Father

A quote from John Quincy Adams to his daughter:

"Daughter! Get you an honest man for a husband and keep him honest. No matter whether he is rich, provided he be independent. Regard the honor and moral character of the man, more than all other circumstances. Think of no other greatness but that of the soul, no other riches but those of the heart."

How Can I Turn My Room Into This?

Sonnet from the extra long airport layover

Thoughts of all I poured out in love to you

Depleted all my heart’s life blood; now faint

Whimpering, trying to arouse life anew.

Failing-- for you think you’re my sinners’ saint.

Won’t let you rule my healing—God controls

Me and I willfully obey my Lord.

A victim of no one I will take hold

Unnecessary to have your regard.

You took of me what you cannot return

Dishonorable toward my woman’s heart

Avowed promises of words and eyes spurned

Unable to fulfill the knightly art.

So much so wrong, why can’t I give you up?

From pangs within, my love, it still erupts.

Beautiful Song I Hesitate to Post

Every time this song comes on Pandora, I stop and listen to it. That is unusual for me-- I don't really appreciate music as much as I should and I rarely ever notice the lyrics. But for some reason, this one always gets me. I hesitate to post it, because I don't want anyone to infer any deep long lost romance from it. But for some reason, I love this song so very much. I don't have anything that "I never told" someone. But it is such an amazing song and I love it. And I like Colbie's hat...surprise, surprise. 

"I Never Told You"

Facebook and Me

I am seriously considering deactivating my Facebook account. But the problem is that I don’t want people to think that I defriended them, and I still want to receive messages and Facebook invitations to events. But I don’t like the time consuming aspect of Facebook and I need to refrain from commenting and using it for any reason except as an inbox. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?