My room with a view

This is the view out of my bedroom window on the third floor. I love actually seeing the flakes fall. It's so lovely. And I am so glad that I just have a short walk to my office. I am going to become a photojournalist of my life for you here, so stay tuned all my California friends who haven't been out to visit and see for yourself.

Russian Roulette with Rihanna

I have had such an interesting reaction to a new song by Rihanna called "Russian Roulette." There's something mysteriously compelling about it. I love and am so attracted to the sound of the song. It's intense and melodic and sounds a bit dark, just what I like. However, the lyrics are an anathema to me. It's so troubling, because she is engaging with one other individual in a game of Russian Roulette, where they each take turns pointing and shooting a gun loaded with a single bullet at each other until someone dies. The lyrics talk about her fear and trembling over this game, but she is not going to back down. One line says, "that he's here means he's never lost"

There is something so troubling to my soul about this song, but I am so drawn to it.....but I know I can't listen to it because it really gets to me and drags me down. I can't shake it when I hear it. That makes me think that it is spiritually charged. I guess that I should have the same reaction when I hear God glorifying music, not necessarily Christian music, but music that highlights the good and noble.

I wonder how my life would be different if I were to evaluate the spiritual valence of everything in my life. The good is a positive spiritual valence (every good and perfect gift comes from God), and everything bad is an evil spiritual valence.

I need to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus and that means not letting this song into my life, even though I am so drawn to it for some reason.

God please reveal yourself to Rihanna and help that woman out of her disturbing music and video themes.

Hallelujah!

I passed my test. My friends, that was the hardest thing I have ever done. Thank you, Jesus.

Ad maiorem dei gloriam. (For the greater glory of God).

I will soon be back to post more about what's on my mind and what's next. Quickly, though, I will be working four days a week starting this week. So I will be trying to figure out a new groove for my life and studies. I think this is a growing opportunity.

Thanks for your support, beloveds!

Teetering

I feel like I am teetering on the edge of something BIG. On this side of this week, I am still young and small and inexperienced and finding my footing in my life and work and job and school. When I hear that I pass my test (God willing) I will actually feel like the accomplished adult that I have been becoming for the last five or so years. But I feel like it hinges here. I have been wafting around, waiting and floating...but as of yet there has been no point of identification or acknowledgment of what I have done in any tangible sense.

But I have poured hundreds, literally hundreds of hours into studying IR, and I know it well. Now I hope I am able to show it on my exam Friday.

Principal Agent theory

Discuss the promises and pitfalls of the use of principal-agent theories in international relations. 

PA is dominant approach to the study of delegation. Draws from rational choice theories, arguing that instrumentally rational actors (voters, legislators, states) delegate power to executive and judicial agents systematically in order to lower transaction costs of policymaking and in doing so, they tailor the discretion of their agents, systematically, as a function of several factors including the demand for credible commitments, demand for policy relevant information, and the expected gap between the preferences of the principals and agents.

St. Peter's at 5pm last night

Last night I was feeling especially selfish. I had passed by Catholic churches no less than three times yesterday as I was moving about town, and each time had shook the thought of entering from my mind.

But as I got home last night and the familiar mind-flurry of "what do I need, what do I want, what would satisfy me right now" hit me full force, I decided to skip across the street for 5 o'clock Mass at St. Peters. It is a such a familiar, safe, peaceful feeling for me to walk into a Catholic church. I did so every week growing up, from birth through sixth grade. Then my family started to go to a protestant church, which I love as well.

It is amazing to me how, though I have not gone faithfully to a Catholic service since I was 12, and I am now 25, I remember most of the words and recited prayers and responses. It is so important to develop habits and expectations and practices with young children, as they are so impressionable and it WILL stick with them. I think that this is why the Bible promises that if you "Train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it." It's in his/her blood. If I ever have kids, I will definitely make faith part of the foundation of training I will provide them.

The sermon (Homily) was on two amazing passages from the Bible. The first was on the spiritual gifts of the Holy Spirit, such as words of wisdom, knowledge, faith, gifts of healing, miracles, prophecy, distinguishing of spirits, various kinds of tongues, interpretation of tongues (1 Corinthians 12).  I especially noticed the last verse in this reading, "But one and the same Holy Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills." I know there is much discussion about these gifts and a lot of observations, predictions, and pontifications, but it all comes down to the fact that God distributes to each one individually just as He wills. We cannot limit God only to do what we think He wills.

The second was on the wedding feast at Cana, where Jesus performed his first public miracle (John 2). Father Byrne pointed out that this passage is symbolic of Jesus's death and his free flowing sacrificial blood that overflows to cover all sins of all people. It also showcases Jesus's tenderness and love for marriage among this young couple, and not only marriage of a young couple but a POOR young couple, because a rich couple would never run out of wine. So Jesus, on top of displaying His might, also provided lavishly for a poor young couple to make their wedding celebration a grand affair.

The way that these two readings came together was  though the mechanism of Mary's direction to the servants: "Do whatever He tells you." We need to remind ourselves of this...."do whatever He tells you." What is that? What are your gifts (from the 1 Corinthians reading)? How are you using your gifts in the Church? Can you sing, read, argue, speak, run, make a great pie, etc. But even more than just using your gifts to glorify God in the church, we must do something much more profound.

It is our calling and challenge and privilege to bring the transformation of the Eucharist (Sacrament of Communion) from the altar to the world around us. We are not just sharing our wealth, our baked goods, or our talent, but we are literally taking Communion to the people around us. That is how we truly bring glory to God through our gifts.

I am challenged. And somehow, not sure how yet, but I intend to bring my transformational Communion experience into my exam this week. I'll let you know what that looks like when I figure it out, if I figure it out.

Decision Making and Prospect Theory

Thanks to prospect theory, economists have come to recognize that the assumption that individuals behave as rational actors maximizing utilities is not descriptively accurate. Do you believe that political scientists have adequately adjusted their own approaches given what we now know about human behavior?

Prospect theory runs counter to traditional economic rationality, in that according to an economic rational choice model, actors have fixed preferences that they are able to rank order. Therefore, given a decision situation, there is a clear order of what decision would give the best outcome, and there is no variance in this preference ranking.

Eavesdropping

Sometimes I cannot believe what I hear. I am studying next to an individual who is talking on the phone through a full mouth of muffin. The person on the other end must really love her and know her very well to understand what she's saying, because I certainly cannot.

Then, she makes the point that, "No, you have to get out of the shower with the phone. Even the steam will hurt the phone. Get out of the shower with that phone." And I don't think that the conversational partner was a child.

Just another incredulous conversation on a glorious study day in DC. I'm enjoying upper Georgetown very much! Cheers!

Non-state Actors

Through what mechanisms can non-state actors influence world politics?  Give at least two concrete examples.  Then discuss the theoretical implications of these modes of influence.  What implications do they have for IR theory? 

Nonstate actors have unique and powerful qualities that shape state behavior. This essay will address ways in which nonstate actors such as NGOs, International NGOs, epistemic communities, and transnational activist networks influence the international system.

Bows and Flows of Angel Hair, and Ice Cream Castles In the Air

This is what my dreams looked like last night. I don’t think that I have ever dreamed about food before in my life. I must have been hungry. In my dream, my sister made me brownies with caramel and marshmallow, and of course it was delicious. Maybe it’s because I had a cookie after dinner…one of my favorites, from Firehook. Its an “Presidential Cookie,” complete with everything you could want. Oatmeal, chocolate chips, walnuts, dried cherries…and lots and lots of butter. And as a plus, it gave me sweet dreams.

In truth, though a puzzling night of sleep, it was a welcome respite from the heavy burdens that have been weighing on me lately. Not just my test, but other big things that my beloved friends and family are going through. I have felt the weight of these things in a heightened proportion the last few days. Part of me thinks that it is an attempt of the enemy to disturb my peace. But I won’t be rattled! I am focused, focused, focused on my exam. God can take care of everything,  of that I am certain, so I am laying my burdens, anxieties and cares at his more-than-capable feet.

I just listened to a song this morning on my ipod that asked, “who planted the trees,” prodding me to think about the world in its original, pristine form after creation. God planted the first trees. How incredible! Were it not for the first act, we wouldn’t have any today. For many across the world, trees are their livelihood, their shade, and sustainers of their economy and life. Thank you, God, for your creativity. You are quite the artist. And everything you created is utterly original. There was no model or prototype. You created, you breathed, you spoke and world came together.

…and then I panic about some test….silly me.

Hopefully my dreams are full of candyland adventures this next week. It sure beats waking up and pondering, worrying, or criticizing myself and these hardships.

Miss Dior

Love this whole look. So classic. Maybe once I'm a professor......one day.

Rationalism v Constructivism

To what extent is trying to synthesize rationalism and constructivism fruitful? Illustrate your points with specific examples.

The debate between constructivism and rationalism is currently the main theoretical divide in international relations. While the two schools of thought have important differences, they are by no means mutually exclusive, and should be combined in various cross cutting ways to have the greatest and most productive effect in the practice of international relations. This essay will discuss each school of thought, then contrast the ways that each school conceptualizes central concepts such as preferences, agency, and norms in international relations. Next, this essay will discuss various methods in which the two schools can be integrated in IR theory, which is best illustrated by the work on norm entrepreneurship in IR.

Facebook

I have decided to put a link to my blog on facebook. I am not sure if it will stay or not. But I want to be transparent and real with everyone in my life. If anyone even looks at this (assuming anyone is interested enough in my life to look at this), and has questions about my life or faith, please let me know. I would love to talk about it. Part of my resolution for this year was to engage in more "costly" relationships. Not that a blog interaction is "costly" at all, but it has forced me to be more transparent, just by the chance that anyone would want to read this and hold me to what I say.

My blog represents a part of what I think about, what I care about, what I love, and how I want to lead with my faith in all aspects of my life and follow Jesus Christ to the end. So here's to the journey...I'm a pilgrim.

My biggest fear (the fear of man) is that people will see this blog and think, "oh, I can't believe she would put her whole personal and private life online for others to see." I used to think this too, but I realized that I just want to share my heart with the people I care about, and I want to know and care about and love every individual that comes into my life.

Confidence

I love Washington DC. It is a beautiful place. After my exam, I am going to start carrying my camera around with me wherever I go. Because my "work" is mobile, I like to walk all over the city and plant myself and study in novel situations all the time. You would think that I would meet a lot of people this way, but it's not true. Maybe I need to be less consumed with my studying and pay more attention to those around me.

I also think that beside living in my self-inclusive world of studying where I am dead to everything around me, I need to practice and work on being more confident and assured as I engage with others. I don't mean "self-confident" necessarily, although that certainly helps; rather, I am talking about a deep, soulful confidence that makes other people feel comfortable with themselves, and also affords me power and boldness and the ability to call things to order. This is a spiritual and Christian principle as well, as the Bible talks about walking in the authority of the Scripture and power of the Holy Spirit. After the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples at Pentecost, the Acts of the Apostles happened. Peter, Paul, Stephen-- all walked in bold confidence, not in themselves, but in their Lord.

This confidence comes from trust, and a belief that God will come through for them, and God is for them.

I long to have this confidence, to call things that are not as though they are, to speak prophetically, to minister deeply, to lead people to Jesus Christ and help them follow him afterwards, to bind the work of the enemy, to loose forgiveness on those around me, and to be beholden to nothing but the Gospel of Christ and Him Crucified.

Polarity

Is it useful for international politics theorists to think of the contemporary international system as ‘unipolar’? Why or why not?

It is not useful to think of the contemporary international system as unipolar. Although there is widespread agreement among IR scholars and policymakers that the United States is the sole superpower and has been since the end of the Cold War, it is not analytically useful to focus IR analysis on the polarity debate.

Institutions/Organizations

1. Why would states choose to work through international institutions? Do the incentives differ for strong versus weak states?

States choose to work through international institutions for several reasons.

Winter Wardrobe v Summer Wardrobe

I just discovered a major difference between clothing choice in California versus DC. When I lived in California, I had one wardrobe consisting of all types of clothes that I loved. During the summer, I would wear the clothes with only shorts, sandals, and tanks as the base layers. In the winter, I would wear the same clothes, but with a sweater, cardigan, pants, tights or other clothes to make it work.

In DC, however, you pretty much need a completely different wardrobe for winter. It is not enough just to throw on a jacket (or two, or three) on top. You must fundamentally dress differently. So the peasant blouse that was so gorgeous in the summer is just not practical for winter, no matter how you layer it up.

"You're Here"

If you don't know Sixpence None the Richer, you are sadly missing out. Such SOULFUL, beautiful and spirit-revving music. Here's one of my favorites.

"You're Here" by Leigh Nash

My life is up and it is down
I try to keep both feet on the ground
Your love is all that gets me through
All I need on this earth is you

And I can hear your voice reciting:
"I'm here, I'm closer than your breath
I've conquered even death
I am still here
And just like I was then
You can't remember when I was not here"

Jesus, you're the author of my heart
Told me you wanted every part
And now my life and its demands
Are resting safety in your hands

And I can hear your voice inviting:
"I'm here,
I'll never leave your side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am your God"

And I can hear your voice inviting:
"I'm here,
I'll never leave you side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am...I am...your God"

The Sartorialist

I love fashion and beauty magazines, advertisements, really anything with engaging photographs of beautiful things. I wanted to share with you a very popular, mainstream blog I really like to look at,

THE SARTORIALIST

Here's a brief bio of the editor of the blog:

I started The Sartorialist simply to share photos of people that I saw on the streets of New York that I thought looked great. When I worked in the fashion industry (15 years), I always felt that there was a disconnect between what I was selling in the showroom and what I was seeing real people (really cool people) wearing in real life...

I thought I could shoot people on the street the way designers looked at people, and get and give inspiration to lots of people in the process. My only strategy when I began The Sartorialist was to try and shoot style in a way that I knew most designers hunted for inspiration. Rarely do they look at the whole outfit as a yes or no but they try and look for the abstract concepts of color, proportion, pattern mixing or mixed genres. I’m always really happy when I meet a designer and hear that they use some of my photos for their inspiration boards. At the same time I’m also really touched when I get emails from everyday people who say they have been inspired to see themselves and others in a new and usually more accepting way.

Check it out. I was especially inspired today because it shows people all bundled up and warm for the winter weather. Sometimes it's hard to feel lovely and fashion-forward when you are bundled up like a snowman in layers of puffy clothing and dripping scarves and tissues out of your pockets. But take a look.

I love the variety of style-types, fabrics, bodies, colors, and flares. I always appreciate a person whose look says, "Hello, I'm interesting and know what I want. And I want to share it with you. Take a look!"

Globalization

  People have been arguing about the consequences of globalization for at least two decades now. Characterize the debate as you see it

There are three strands of analysis on globalization: what does globalization mean for the nation state, what is the status of state security in the face of a global, borderless world, and what are the normative implications of globalization for weaker states? This paper will discuss the definition of globalization and the extent to which it exists in the modern world, and then address each concern in turn.

Globalization involves the cross-border flow of goods, services, money, people, information and culture. A truly globalized international system must involve multicontinental distances, and networks of connections and multiple relationships, not single linkages. For example, subcontinental or bilateral trade agreements are not indicative of globalization, nor are regional blocs of integration and exchange such as the European Union (Keohane and Nye).